Need a top City / Utd joke please

O O

oddfellows

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Father of the Bride (Lifelong Blue) has a Daughter getting married next week needs a top joke as there are a quite a few Rags that will be on the Guest list when the speeches will be delivered.

Top piss takes much appreciated.

Fill your boots Blues.

Cheers.
 
Looked out my window the other night , only to see 2 lads in rag shirts playing football with an hedgehog
I shouted out the window " Oy ! stop that ,otherwise i'm ringing the RSPCA
The hedgehog looked up and shouted " f**k that , im winning 2 nil here mate "
 
i honestly didn't know such a thing existed.

I will tell you a Celtic/Rangers one

Celtic fan can only get ticket for Rangers end. He goes and After five minutes Celtic go one up

He tries to suppress his cheers but he is getting looks.

2.0

Fuck

3.0

Oh they know.

4.0 I'm dead.

After the game he tries to nip away sharpish. He is followed by a mob who start chasing him. He runs down to the river and sees the ferry about ten feet from the quay. He sprints as fast as he can and leaps and makes it.

Delerious with joy he turns to the baying mob on the quay.

"Get it up you you shower of cunts, suck my cock you ugly bast.".. Just at that he feels a hand on his shoulder. It's the ferry captain.

"I'd take it easy with the insults son, we're just pulling in".
 
glyncity said:
Looked out my window the other night , only to see 2 lads in rag shirts playing football with an hedgehog
I shouted out the window " Oy ! stop that ,otherwise i'm ringing the RSPCA
The hedgehog looked up and shouted " f**k that , im winning 2 nil here mate "
Click to expand...

Haha, I know that joke is interchangeable with any team but I enjoyed it!
 
There's an old City fan who is dying so he calls his mates and asks them to do one last thing for him.

They say 'yes of course' so he asks for a rag shirt. His mates think that that's a little bit weird because he has been the biggest City fan his whole life.

But because he is dying they accept and get him a shirt.

After the old man puts on the rag shirt, one of his mates asks him why he changed team right before he dies, he says 'better one of them dying then one of us'.
 
go search for the James H Reeve performance , he told plenty , somebody here must be able to go straight to it
 
As you know I'm a big City fan. Last week I saw a man in a United shirt in trouble in a river clearly unable to keep his head above water. As I can't swim I did the next best thing and alerted the emergency services.

I hope they got the letter.
 
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