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One decent thing about last night was the distinct lack of the use of "Los Blancos" every three minutes by the TNT commentator...

Is everyone taking a bin bag to wave?

Reduced the so-called "Kings of europe" to playing like a marginally more talented, though more snidey, Luton, Brentford, Everton etc... Well done all, let's smash the rest of the season.

Presume there'll be a discreet bag of ket taped under each seat so we can appreciate that DJ's talents...

What work do you do that requires such large keys?

I'm walking a Walker dilemma. In or out? Shake it all about?

Nerves kicking in. Is 'spoons open yet?

When will Ederson take one in a match - and what would happen?

No it doesn't...

As the cliché goes, keep calm and, errr, ummm...

I'll let the Mrs know...

I hope global stability remains intact until I've done the final sunday roast of mankind. I'm doing extra roasties if the great unwashed of BM want a pre-armageddon feast...

Just about Doku. Kova great. Gvardiol, what the fuck are these goals? Magnificent...

Wooooooshhhh ;-)

Lazy fucker should stick it out until the end of the season, like the rest of us have to...

If you were to borrow some Maltesers, suck off the chocolate, then replace the centres from whence they came - surely you cannot be charged with Malteser theft?

Yes, it'll definitely be real Madrid.

Mystic Julian? That's a shit thing to call your nipper...

Pep! Vomit... Hahahahahaaaaaa

That stadium is a thing of immense beauty...