Away ground 'TOILET' comedy gold stories...

winnie said:
Not footy related but here goes;

me and 11 mates went sea fishing at Ross on sea about 3 years ago, just got out on the boat n were setting up to start when I asked the skipper where the toilet was and a few of the lads started laughing! The skipper threw me a roll of bog roll n pointed me to the front of the boat, now at the start of a 6 hour trip I certainly wernt holding it in, so I hung my arse over the side of the boat and curled a cracker, cleaned myself up and went back to join the others! Next thing one of the lads on the other side of the boat let out a heave as my log went bobbing past, before you know it a seagull swooped down n necked the turd in one arrow! Cue the rest of the piss takers throwing up over the side of the boat calling me allsorts!
That'll teach em for laughing!
Click to expand...
Im actually lol'ing
 
winnie said:
Not footy related but here goes;

me and 11 mates went sea fishing at Ross on sea about 3 years ago, just got out on the boat n were setting up to start when I asked the skipper where the toilet was and a few of the lads started laughing! The skipper threw me a roll of bog roll n pointed me to the front of the boat, now at the start of a 6 hour trip I certainly wernt holding it in, so I hung my arse over the side of the boat and curled a cracker, cleaned myself up and went back to join the others! Next thing one of the lads on the other side of the boat let out a heave as my log went bobbing past, before you know it a seagull swooped down n necked the turd in one arrow! Cue the rest of the piss takers throwing up over the side of the boat calling me allsorts!
That'll teach em for laughing!
Click to expand...

Reminds me of a time me and a mate took a 2 man canoe out to sea in Tenerife. We paddled out really far to this natural swell where the water goes into a cave, then rises up really quick.

Anyway I was at the front and every time I turns round the lazy bastard's resting his paddle and having a cig. For the way back, I decide we should swop places and he should be up front. He jumps out of the boat, whilst I bum shuffle backwards.

Next thing, this mini cruiser turns up to take pics of the cave. As everyone on the deck's snapping away, my mate turns a shade of green as he realises the skipper has emptied the sewage tank and he's bobbing about in the sea surrounded by jobbies.

Some were so close to him that he said he spotted a piece of sweetcorn in one of them!
He paddled back to the shore like Steve Redgrave on speed.
 
at wembley for the final i was dying for a shit, i went down a couple of minutes b4 half time, the mens were packed so sneaked in the womens... very clean and smelt nice until i had finished, did the most foul smelling turd ever, i came out and loads of women were there going mad, i said of shit is this the womens, and dont go in that one and legged it
 
At FA Cup Final:

Dying for a piss as been on the beers early doors, 10 mins into the game ran out to the nearest toilets. Didn't see a urinal and thought it was strange but must be around het he corner; relieved myself in the toilet to find a steward waiting outside for me! She goes, "you do realise this is the women's?!" I just said whoops, wondered why here was no urinals!
 
a friend of mine (not a Blue) claims to have had a wank at a football game. Liverpool supporter - I think it was away to Blackpool or somewhere equally as shitty...
 
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