Burnt toast, crisps, chips.......

I'm quite pleased with this info, it might stop the wife cooking.

She uses the smoke alarm as a timer.
 
Some sad lonely bastard, in a dark room justifying his/her wages, has spent a lot of time researching these priceless pearls of information. At least let's give them the respect that's due.

Yeah let's abandon all medical research into diseases and their causes, especially ones we can avoid by modifying our behaviour!
 

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