Exeter Blue I am here
Well-Known Member
There's admittedly probably a tendency for it not to register when opposition defenders fuck up, but is there any other team, not just in the Premier League but in Europe, whose back 4 attempts to commit ritual suicide with such astonishing regularity as ours?
I'm not talking about being exposed by a lack of midfield cover or making an error under pressure or repeat failures of an offside trap, but absolute complacent fucktard pieces of defending (particularly relating to fannying around instead of clearing the ball) that leave you purple faced in rage and bewilderment, and unable to comprehend that these are some of the highest paid professional footballers in the world we're talking about.
Whatever, sometimes we've paid the ultimate price and other times we've gotten away with it, but I am at a loss to explain the cause. Is it coaching, is it lack of leadership, is it arrogance, is it a lackadaisical approach to defending in general, are they just fucking stupid?
Off the top of my head then I came up with this lot (mostly from recent weeks), and I appreciate that there were probably a load more at the start of the season I've forgotten about.......
Norwich (h) - Hart drops the ball on his own goal line under no pressure from anyone and Jerome taps in to an empty net.
Liverpool (h) - 1. Mangala gets his feet in a tangle and backheels the ball past Joe Hart for an own goal.
2. Mangala and Dimichelis get in each other's way, Firmino takes advantage and tees up Coutinho for a goal.
Juventus (a) - Otamendi falls down under minimal contact hoping for a cheap free kick and Mandzukic scores.
Everton (a) - 1. Otamendi as last man has a 5 yard start over Barkley, but dithers, allows himself to get knocked off the ball and Hart has to make a last ditch save.
2. In a packed penalty area, Mangala collects the ball on the edge of the 6 yard and instead of clearing his lines, attempts an absolute hospital pass to a City player on the edge of the box, which pass is promptly intercepted and results in a shot at goal.
West Ham (a) - A hopeful West Ham throw travels fully 40 yards into our 6 yard box with only 1 West Ham player even in our half, Otamendi has all day to deal with it, but falls asleep and allows that one player to run round behind him and poke it past Hart.
Everton (h) - Otamendi races out of position, dives in needlessly on Barkley, gets nowhere near the ball and the Everton player runs on to score.
Sunderland (a) - under no pressure from anyone Dimichelis plays a needless and suicidal short pass on the edge of our box straight to a Sunderland player, who has a free run on goal that Hart manages to block.
Rags (h) - Dimichelis plays a woefully underhit back pass whilst looking in the opposite direction, which sees Joe Hart depart on a stretcher.
PSG (a) - Hart plays an utterly pointless goal kick to Fernando, who has his back to the opposition and doesn't realise Ibrahimovic is coming up behind, and the City midfielder duly turns straight into him and the ball cannons into the empty net.
Newcastle (a) - 1. under no pressure Kompany tries a needless dribble out of defence, only to get caught in possession by Sissoko, who runs clean through on goal only for Hart to save the day.
2. In the 90th minute, Kolarov has all day to clear the ball, but dithers and allows Wijnaldum to race through on Hart, who makes another point blank save.
Southampton (a) - 1. Otamendi falls asleep and allows a player 3 yards behind him to beat him to the ball and toe end it past Hart.
2. Kolarov has all day to clear, but dithers and then whacks the ball straight into the back of a Southampton player. The ball duly loops back over Kolarov's head and sets Long free.
3. Zabaleta, Otamendi and Kolarov all have the opportunity under pressure by the deadball line, to whack the ball out for throw ins. All opt to try and dribble or shield the ball out of play, all get robbed of possession with Southampton players then running the ball back into our near empty penalty area.
I'm not talking about being exposed by a lack of midfield cover or making an error under pressure or repeat failures of an offside trap, but absolute complacent fucktard pieces of defending (particularly relating to fannying around instead of clearing the ball) that leave you purple faced in rage and bewilderment, and unable to comprehend that these are some of the highest paid professional footballers in the world we're talking about.
Whatever, sometimes we've paid the ultimate price and other times we've gotten away with it, but I am at a loss to explain the cause. Is it coaching, is it lack of leadership, is it arrogance, is it a lackadaisical approach to defending in general, are they just fucking stupid?
Off the top of my head then I came up with this lot (mostly from recent weeks), and I appreciate that there were probably a load more at the start of the season I've forgotten about.......
Norwich (h) - Hart drops the ball on his own goal line under no pressure from anyone and Jerome taps in to an empty net.
Liverpool (h) - 1. Mangala gets his feet in a tangle and backheels the ball past Joe Hart for an own goal.
2. Mangala and Dimichelis get in each other's way, Firmino takes advantage and tees up Coutinho for a goal.
Juventus (a) - Otamendi falls down under minimal contact hoping for a cheap free kick and Mandzukic scores.
Everton (a) - 1. Otamendi as last man has a 5 yard start over Barkley, but dithers, allows himself to get knocked off the ball and Hart has to make a last ditch save.
2. In a packed penalty area, Mangala collects the ball on the edge of the 6 yard and instead of clearing his lines, attempts an absolute hospital pass to a City player on the edge of the box, which pass is promptly intercepted and results in a shot at goal.
West Ham (a) - A hopeful West Ham throw travels fully 40 yards into our 6 yard box with only 1 West Ham player even in our half, Otamendi has all day to deal with it, but falls asleep and allows that one player to run round behind him and poke it past Hart.
Everton (h) - Otamendi races out of position, dives in needlessly on Barkley, gets nowhere near the ball and the Everton player runs on to score.
Sunderland (a) - under no pressure from anyone Dimichelis plays a needless and suicidal short pass on the edge of our box straight to a Sunderland player, who has a free run on goal that Hart manages to block.
Rags (h) - Dimichelis plays a woefully underhit back pass whilst looking in the opposite direction, which sees Joe Hart depart on a stretcher.
PSG (a) - Hart plays an utterly pointless goal kick to Fernando, who has his back to the opposition and doesn't realise Ibrahimovic is coming up behind, and the City midfielder duly turns straight into him and the ball cannons into the empty net.
Newcastle (a) - 1. under no pressure Kompany tries a needless dribble out of defence, only to get caught in possession by Sissoko, who runs clean through on goal only for Hart to save the day.
2. In the 90th minute, Kolarov has all day to clear the ball, but dithers and allows Wijnaldum to race through on Hart, who makes another point blank save.
Southampton (a) - 1. Otamendi falls asleep and allows a player 3 yards behind him to beat him to the ball and toe end it past Hart.
2. Kolarov has all day to clear, but dithers and then whacks the ball straight into the back of a Southampton player. The ball duly loops back over Kolarov's head and sets Long free.
3. Zabaleta, Otamendi and Kolarov all have the opportunity under pressure by the deadball line, to whack the ball out for throw ins. All opt to try and dribble or shield the ball out of play, all get robbed of possession with Southampton players then running the ball back into our near empty penalty area.
Last edited: