joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by citymantop, 28 Jan 2014.

  1. chrishull

    chrishull

    Joined:
    19 Jul 2008
    I was walking in Yorkshire when I came across a man in a field manhandling a sheep.
    I walked over and said "Alright mate, are you shearing?"
    With a strong Yorkshire accent he replied "Bugger off, get your own."
     
  2. You came across a man riding a sheep?
     
  3. kippax4ever

    kippax4ever

    Joined:
    25 Feb 2015
    My daughter asked me "Can my boyfriend stay over tonight?"
    Can he fuk!!! I said
    Like a rabbit" was not the reply I was looking for...
     
  4. super_city_si

    super_city_si

    Joined:
    29 Dec 2007
     
    Last edited: 15 May 2017
  5. dronefromsector7G

    dronefromsector7G

    Joined:
    1 Jul 2015
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Standing on a fine line, between this and that
    How do you know how heavy a chilli pepper is?

    Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
     
  6. chris63

    chris63

    Joined:
    24 May 2009
    Occupation:
    ORDERLY
    Location:
    PERTH AUSTRALIA
    Very good
     
  7. chris63

    chris63

    Joined:
    24 May 2009
    Occupation:
    ORDERLY
    Location:
    PERTH AUSTRALIA
    Tampax have replaced the string on their tampons with a piece of tinsel....
    They say it's only for the Christmas period.
     
  8. Zuriblue

    Zuriblue

    Joined:
    18 Feb 2009
    Location:
    Baden, Switzerland
    Theresa May goes on a live T.V. debate on the B.B.C., after intense pressure, by the British public to hear her policies on important matters such as the NHS. Dimbleby keeps asking her questions about waiting times and privatisation of the NHS but, she can only answer "strong and stable" to them, over and over again. "Why do you answer 'strong and stable' to everything?" asks David Dimbleby and she replies "strong and stable". Dimbleby shakes his head in disbelief, turns to Jeremy Corbyn and asks him why does he think Theresa May keeps on saying "strong and stable", Corbyn says " I'm not sure David, but I know we're all sick of repeats on the B.B.C."
     
  9. Indaparkside

    Indaparkside

    Joined:
    28 Dec 2015
    Gender:
    Male
    Don't give your day job up
     
  10. Sid C

    Sid C

    Joined:
    1 Sep 2013
    How do you know when a barmaid doesn't like you?

    When you order a Bloody Mary and there's a string stuck out of it.
     

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