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Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by citymantop, 28 Jan 2014.
The bloke who invented The Jug has died. Tributes are pouring in .....
I was walking in Yorkshire when I came across a man in a field manhandling a sheep.
I walked over and said "Alright mate, are you shearing?"
With a strong Yorkshire accent he replied "Bugger off, get your own."
You came across a man riding a sheep?
My daughter asked me "Can my boyfriend stay over tonight?"
Can he fuk!!! I said
Like a rabbit" was not the reply I was looking for...
How do you know how heavy a chilli pepper is?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
Tampax have replaced the string on their tampons with a piece of tinsel....
They say it's only for the Christmas period.
Theresa May goes on a live T.V. debate on the B.B.C., after intense pressure, by the British public to hear her policies on important matters such as the NHS. Dimbleby keeps asking her questions about waiting times and privatisation of the NHS but, she can only answer "strong and stable" to them, over and over again. "Why do you answer 'strong and stable' to everything?" asks David Dimbleby and she replies "strong and stable". Dimbleby shakes his head in disbelief, turns to Jeremy Corbyn and asks him why does he think Theresa May keeps on saying "strong and stable", Corbyn says " I'm not sure David, but I know we're all sick of repeats on the B.B.C."
Don't give your day job up