joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by citymantop, 28 Jan 2014.

  1. Barcon

    Barcon

    Joined:
    21 Nov 2009
    Location:
    Toronto via Failsworth
     
  2. sir baconface

    sir baconface

    Joined:
    20 May 2012
    Occupation:
    GPC, FOC and bar
    Location:
    Not in my lifetime.
    A Scotsman phones a dentist to enquire about the cost of a tooth extraction.

    “85 pounds for an extraction, sir” the dentist replied.

    “85 quid! Huv ye no’got anythin’ cheaper?”

    “That’s the normal charge,” said the dentist.

    “Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anaesthetic?”

    “That’s unusual, sir, but I could do it and would knock 15 pounds off.”

    “Whit aboot if ye used one of your dentist trainees and still without any anaesthetic?”

    “I can’t guarantee their professionalism and it’ll be painful. But the price could drop by 20 pounds.”

    “How aboot if ye make it a trainin’ session, ave yer student do the extraction with the other students watchin’ and learnin’?”

    “It’ll be good for the students”, mulled the dentist. “I’ll charge you 5 pounds but it will be traumatic.”

    “Och, now yer talkin’ laddie! It’s a deal,” said the Scotsman. “Can ye confirm an appointment for the wife next Tuesday then.”
     
  3. Squelch

    Squelch

    Joined:
    2 Jan 2009
    Occupation:
    Silver surfer lifeguard.
    Location:
    Murkeyside
    "My missus has been assaulted by a marsupial in Malaysia."
    "Kuala Lumpur?"
    "No, it was a big kangaroo."
     
  4. tshirtman

    tshirtman

    Joined:
    16 Feb 2012
    My parents were midgets, all there life they struggled to put food on the table
     
  5. Big Swifty

    Big Swifty

    Joined:
    8 Nov 2011
    My parents were devil-worshippers. They made a lot of sacrifices for me.
     
  6. chris63

    chris63

    Joined:
    24 May 2009
    Occupation:
    ORDERLY
    Location:
    PERTH AUSTRALIA
    [​IMG]
     
  7. Deepest Blue

    Deepest Blue

    Joined:
    20 May 2010
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Tightening the noose.
    Still cracks me up, that one :)
     
  8. BackofJeanette

    BackofJeanette

    Joined:
    20 Apr 2011
    @Deepest Blue
    Bloody hell Phil you're getting some mileage out of that old one.
    Here's one not so old......

    Gynaecologists use a device called a speculum to spread open the vagina.
    I prefer to call it a flap jack.

    Catch up soon mate!
     
  9. doots

    doots

    Joined:
    7 Oct 2008
    Location:
    Under the influence.Aguero 94
    Two Chinese men break into a distillery.
    One asks the other,is it Whisky?
    He replies, not as whisky as wobbing a bank.
     
  10. Deepest Blue

    Deepest Blue

    Joined:
    20 May 2010
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Tightening the noose.
    Hope so mate, it's your round ;)
     

Share This Page