joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by citymantop, 28 Jan 2014.

  1. maccieblue

    maccieblue

    Joined:
    12 Dec 2008
    i went to the new topless waitress Mcdonalds the lass behind the counter said "would you like to go large ?" i replied I already have
     
  2. RadcliffeRick

    RadcliffeRick

    Joined:
    27 Oct 2011
    Occupation:
    Something in Oil
    Location:
    Kuala Lumpur Via Radcliffe
    Or the Chinese on where the girl asks if you want sore finger.
     
  3. Indaparkside

    Indaparkside

    Joined:
    28 Dec 2015
    Gender:
    Male
    United trying to have more possession, better players, less plastic fans, and a better manager oh and beating us a week on Sunday now that would be a joke
     
  4. dronefromsector7G

    dronefromsector7G

    Joined:
    1 Jul 2015
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Standing on a fine line, between this and that
    What's white and falls from the sky at Christmas?

    An emo kid.
     
  5. Dave Ewing's Back 'eader

    Dave Ewing's Back 'eader

    Joined:
    9 Mar 2007
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Upwind of the Mangrove Swamp
    How long has St Johann had a fuckin' dog show?
     
  6. jimharri

    jimharri

    Joined:
    30 Dec 2007
    Occupation:
    Occasional idiot
    Location:
    Surrounded by the dark side of the force
    Wartime Britain and two German paratroopers land in England.


    Fritz: Vott are Vee going to do, how will vee blind in?

    Herman: Vee do just like das Englanders do, vee go to the pub, und act casual.

    Fritz: Vot vill ve order, Ve dont know any englander drinks.

    Herman: Leave zatt to me,,,,,,, I am ze expert.




    They go in the Dog and Duck and walk up to the bar.


    Herman: Two Martinis please landlord.

    Landlord: Dry?

    Herman: Nein, Zwei.

    Fritz: Scheisse
     
  7. sir baconface

    sir baconface

    Joined:
    20 May 2012
    Occupation:
    GPC, FOC and bar
    Location:
    Not in my lifetime.
    Sehr gut :)
     
  8. tshirtman

    tshirtman

    Joined:
    16 Feb 2012
    It's been 7 hours and 15 days since my wife left me because of my obsession with Sinead O'Connor
     
  9. KS55

    KS55

    Joined:
    14 Oct 2016
    Gender:
    Male
    Jack is a reet tyke. He goes to meet his mate for a drink, but is delayed. When he arrives, his mate says:
    "Ee Jack, yer late"
    Jack replies:
    "Can't manage it just at the moment."
     
  10. manchester blue

    manchester blue

    Joined:
    7 May 2008
    I played pool with an owl last night. I broke and potted the White. I said,"two hits". The owl said, "Two hits to who".
     

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