joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by citymantop, 28 Jan 2014.

  1. sir baconface

    sir baconface

    Joined:
    20 May 2012
    Occupation:
    GPC, FOC and bar
    Location:
    Not in my lifetime.
    Go on then. I’m listening.
     
  2. Stuuuuuu

    Stuuuuuu

    Joined:
    6 Sep 2009
    Location:
    I'm not really here
    It only contains elements of humour.
     
  3. Big Swifty

    Big Swifty

    Joined:
    8 Nov 2011
    The doctor is doing his hospital round, and comes to one bed, and says to the patient: "How are you today, Mr Smith/"
    Smith replies "Well, doctor, I feel really bloated - I haven't had a bowel movement for a week."
    The doctor says: "Don't worry, Mr Smith, we've got a new laxative that moves the stodgiest bowels. Nurse, give Mr Smith this dose", and scribbles the details on a piece of paper
    Unfortunately, the nurse is short-sighted, misreads the decimal point and gives the patient ten times the required dosage.
    Later that day, the doctor passes Smith's bed and says cheerfully: "Now then Mr Smith, how are the bowels? Have we managed to move you yet?"
    Smith replies: "I wish some bugger would move me....my bed's full of shit."
     
  4. remember arthur mann

    remember arthur mann

    Joined:
    29 Aug 2009
    Location:
    Newton Upon The Heath
    The man who said City were founded in 2008



    Yep, A Grade one clown !
     
  5. bluemc1

    bluemc1

    Joined:
    4 Oct 2012
    Never posted about a joke on here before but that has to be one of the worst jokes ever, sorry mate
     
  6. Bewar3them00n

    Bewar3them00n

    Joined:
    24 Jun 2013
    Occupation:
    Working for the Man
    Location:
    I'm Invisible
    Are you being ionic?
     
  7. Bewar3them00n

    Bewar3them00n

    Joined:
    24 Jun 2013
    Occupation:
    Working for the Man
    Location:
    I'm Invisible
    Fucking deluded, your manager is a narcissist of the Nth degree order, with an ego so damaged, it makes Cantona’s seagull speech sound like idle chit chat.
     
  8. talkativesprout

    talkativesprout

    Joined:
    30 Mar 2009
    you're attractive
     
  9. taleofbluehalves

    taleofbluehalves

    Joined:
    19 Oct 2010
    It is a little known fact that the Bermuda Triangle used to be called the Bermuda Rectangle. Until one side mysteriously disappeared.
     
  10. yeseye

    yeseye

    Joined:
    14 Feb 2008
    Occupation:
    old bill
    Location:
    EARLY CROSS, CHANCE AT THE FAR POST,HINCHCLIFFE
    I just rang Alcohol Concern. Told them I was worried I didn't have enough beer in the fridge. They're quite rude, aren't they?
     

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