Murphy and paddy

[mcfcnorthstand]

Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg.

Paddy says: "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?'

"No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19-year-old twin daughters sitting on their beds.

"Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to screw ya both."

"Fook off you liar!"

"I'll prove it," Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs: "Both of dem Paddy?'

"Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?"

 

[jimharri]

First heard at the Hackney Empire, circa 1928.

 

[robspankthemonkey]

Fookin hell Northstand very jovial today?? :)

 

[Joycee Banercheck]

Paddy phones Murphy one morning and asks what he got up to the day before.
"I Went on a parachute jump" he told Paddy.
Paddy asks him what it was like.
"It was scary. We were 25,000 feet in the air and everyone started to jump out. It got to my turn and there was just myself and a huge bloke behind me left on the plane. I didn't want to do it, but this bloke behind me said, 'Murphy, if you don't jump out now I'm gonna stick my 12 inch willy up you'"
"Did you jump then, Murphy" Asks Paddy
"I did a little bit when he first stuck it in"

 

[jimharri]

What's with all these jokes about the Welsh?

 

[scorer]

What's with all these jokes about the Welsh?

Leave the Welsh out of this....