Stag do stories

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City-mad-fan

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So I went on my first stag do in January for some lad from work.

The best man decided to have the stag do in Essex god knows why. Any way first night we hit the bars and ended up having banter with a few Essex lads who didn't take to kindly to it and a few of them started threatening us. We didn't want any trouble and it was getting late so we decided to go back to the hotel and get some kip for the main night on the Saturday.

On the Saturday night we were all dressed as superheros with the Stag dressed up as a women. We booked a table in a club and was obviously getting alot of attention with people wanting pictures etc. Any way it comes to the end of the night were all struggling to stand and were trying to get a taxi back to the hotel. Waiting for a taxi we see the same lads from last night who were threatening us. They recognised the stag and start hurling abuse at him so the stag and all of us naturally tell them to F*** off. Which they didnt like. They ended up running at us hitting the stag first straight in the nose, breaking his nose and breaking his arm on the impact of hitting the floor. This then caused a brawl in the middle of the road with about 10 of us and about 10 of them. The fight was going on for about 5 minutes before the dibble came. We all legged it completely forgetting about the Stag on the floor (Honestly). The dibble caught the Stag and put him in the back of the van. At this point were all shitting it not knowing what to do or where to go. Half an hour later we get a text from the stag (somehow he managed to keep his phone) The text read that the police have taken him to the hospital and what room and floor he was in. We all decided to get a taxi to the hospital to try and find him.

Once we arrived at the hospital we split up trying to look for him. Anyway after about 10 minutes me and another lad found the room that he was in. We could see the doctor examining his injuries but no police. We had a look around the corner and we could see the police chatting to the nurses at the desk. So we thought fuck it, this was our chance to get out of here. We ran in the room pushed the doctor to one side and grabbed our mate and ran for the exits and went back to the hotel.

This was the biggest rush and craziest night I've ever had and couldnt believe that we managed to get our mate back from the dibble and escape.

Any way I want to hear your craziest Stag do stories there must be some with the lads on this board.
 
Got back from Amsterdam the other week. We all took some truffles and had a whale of a time, except one of my mates... He was convinced he was in a dream, king of the world and everyone was party of his "mannequin army". He threw a mate off a chair, ran out of the bar and that was the last we saw of him til 9.30 the next morning.
Turns out he wa running around amsterdam, still thinking he was dreaming, forcing his way into clubs you have to pay for and stuff because "It was my dream, i could do what i wanted". He ended up fighting with the police and put in a cell with a bag on his head for a few hours, the police even offered him weed to calm him down. He still has no feeling in his arm from the handcuffs!
The best bit is he held a shit in for 12 hours because he was convinved if he shat or pissed in his "dream" he would be actually shitting in his bed and we would all take the piss out of him
 
chap on my stag over a decade ago copped off with some old slapper from near us who happened to be staying in the same hotel. He lost his shoes and she sprayed perfume all over his clothes so he got into loads of shite when we got home - he was already married but still sees the boot on the side now and is still married to his wife, whereas we split up four years ago...
 
City-mad-fan said:
So I went on my first stag do in January for some lad from work.

The best man decided to have the stag do in Essex god knows why. Any way first night we hit the bars and ended up having banter with a few Essex lads who didn't take to kindly to it and a few of them started threatening us. We didn't want any trouble and it was getting late so we decided to go back to the hotel and get some kip for the main night on the Saturday.

On the Saturday night we were all dressed as superheros with the Stag dressed up as a women. We booked a table in a club and was obviously getting alot of attention with people wanting pictures etc. Any way it comes to the end of the night were all struggling to stand and were trying to get a taxi back to the hotel. Waiting for a taxi we see the same lads from last night who were threatening us. They recognised the stag and start hurling abuse at him so the stag and all of us naturally tell them to F*** off. Which they didnt like. They ended up running at us hitting the stag first straight in the nose, breaking his nose and breaking his arm on the impact of hitting the floor. This then caused a brawl in the middle of the road with about 10 of us and about 10 of them. The fight was going on for about 5 minutes before the dibble came. We all legged it completely forgetting about the Stag on the floor (Honestly). The dibble caught the Stag and put him in the back of the van. At this point were all shitting it not knowing what to do or where to go. Half an hour later we get a text from the stag (somehow he managed to keep his phone) The text read that the police have taken him to the hospital and what room and floor he was in. We all decided to get a taxi to the hospital to try and find him.

Once we arrived at the hospital we split up trying to look for him. Anyway after about 10 minutes me and another lad found the room that he was in. We could see the doctor examining his injuries but no police. We had a look around the corner and we could see the police chatting to the nurses at the desk. So we thought fuck it, this was our chance to get out of here. We ran in the room pushed the doctor to one side and grabbed our mate and ran for the exits and went back to the hotel.

This was the biggest rush and craziest night I've ever had and couldnt believe that we managed to get our mate back from the dibble and escape.

Any way I want to hear your craziest Stag do stories there must be some with the lads on this board.
Click to expand...

In normal circumstances, the stag would have been taken to the police station and booked in before going to the hospital, but in some instances, they might take him straight to the hospital. Even then, I'm surprised that they didn't take his name and address and confirm his identity. Not to mention the fact that he'd be in handcuffs, broken arm or no broken arm...Very bad police work indeed. Obviously, if they had confirmed who he was, the local police back home would have re arrested him for escaping from lawful custody seeing as though Essex plod wouldn't know where he was stopping. Much deeper shit than a drunk and disorderly. Unless of course either a) he did get re arrested and he didn't tell you or b) the cops were too embarrassed to tell the control room what had happened and reported that they had "De arrested him".
 
I have a cousin from Bristol who is genuinely on the borderline of being criminally insane. A real psychotic fucker, think Begbie with a West Country accent.
On my brother's stag do in Galway, we ended up in a strip club/lap dancing bar. All was fine until we were leaving, when one of the bouncers made an innocuous remark and so the psycho decided to glass him.
Cue a mass brawl with us, bouncers and topless women crashing about in the lobby. Fists and tits everywhere.
Heard sirens so as best man, I got our kid into a taxi and back to the hotel. The nutter turned up in the bar with his brother 45 minutes later, their shirts shredded like the Hulk, black eyes, split lips, busted noses.
He ordered a couple of pints and said: "Right, I'll just change my top. Where we going next?"
 
After a do in town. The plan was to take the Stags kex off near the gay village and hancuff him round a lampost. The plan changed when he was handcuffed to a psychotic old tramp in Piccadilly Gardens. My mate was nearly crying as the pissed up, smelly old fucker decided he wanted a scrap!
 
On returning to Cheadle after one stag do the plan was to crucify the stag naked on Cheadle green. The lads had erected a huge cross on the green and as we moved in to get him he went beserk lashing out at everyone and escaped.

The Church down the road stole the cross and its still up in there grounds as a reminder of that day
 
mine was a long weekend in Amsterdam, I can't remember most of it but I do remember one of my mates being slumped in the lift of the hotel just going up and down for a couple of hours, we'd only been there for a few hours at that point. #lightweight
 
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