Top Facts About Glauber Berti

Glauber Berti shot the deputy

Glauber Berti arrested Ashley Cole

The universe was created when God and Glauber Berti were having a kick about. Glauber Berti kicked the ball so hard into God's face that it caused the big bang. The ball in question still exists today, only we call it "The Sun".
 
68. The phantom Manchester City defender is a keen amateur astrologer in his significant spare time, having several celestial bodies bearing his name. The asteroid Berti-22XA is due to pass the Earth at an unsettling proximity of 320km in 2078.
 
69. Glauber Berti killed Laura Palmer
70. Glauber Berti's Book of Awesome was revised to allow room for competition
71. Glauber Berti masters six martial arts disciplines, one of which is The Glauber Berti
72. Glauber Berti once saved a baby, twice. He chucked it back in just in case some people weren't paying attention to how it was done the first time
73. Glauber Berti knows how to turn it on, but little is known about his crippling inability to turn it off. It's a sad, breathtaking chapter in the life of...
74. Glauber Berti built the atomic bomb to prove he was invinsible, a gathered expertise of scientists deemed the results insufficient
75. Glauber Berti inspired the principle of Ockham's razor when friar William of Ockham engaged in a conversation on the relative terms of Glauber Berti's cool compared to his badassness
76. Glauber Berti = mac but sure as hell aint square (In ya face Einstein!)
77. Glauber Berti split in two isn't half the Glauber Berti but twice the fun
 
Glauber Berti built rome in 1 day
Glauber Berti has his face on the moon
Glauber Berti can stun a gun
Glauber Berti is the main admin on bluemoon
 
To the tune of 10 green bottles:

There's one Glauber Berti, sitting on the wall,
One Glauber Berti, sitting on on the wall,
And if one Glauber Berti, should accidentally fallll...

There'll be one Glauber Berti, and no f*cking wall!
 
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