Greatest Number of "she said"s
The greatest rate of "she said"s in a woman's conversation was achieved during the recounting of a report of a report of a rumour of a conversation overheard in a launderette about a local woman's daughter possibly becoming pregnant. On September 14th 1998, Irene Scholes of Widnes (GB) managed to include the phrase "she said" 1283 times in 1 min 27 sec, an average of 14.7 "she said"s per second. During one 8 second burst of the conversation, Mrs. Scholes sustained an incredible peak rate of 38.3Ss/s (she saids/sec)
-- Mon Aug 27, 2012 4:20 pm --
Most potatoest coloured skin
Nicholas Wilson of Largs, Lanarkshire (GB) holds the record as Britain's most translucent teenager. After devoting 5 years to reaching Level 30 of 'The Tomb Raider Chronicles' in his bedroom with the curtains drawn, Wilson's skin was assessed to have a pasteyness value of 8.7 on the Maris-Piper scale, aproximately four times as pale as Shane McGowan
-- Mon Aug 27, 2012 4:20 pm --
Beating the clock
Whilst attending an ecumenical conference on 18th November 1998, Father Arthur Linehan of Letterkenny (Republic of Ireland) switched on the TV in his room in the Travel Tavern, Liverpool. During the 10 minutes of free pornography before his screen went fuzzy, Fr. Linehan suceeded in masturbating to ejaculation 12 (twelve) times
-- Mon Aug 27, 2012 4:22 pm --
Stiffest sock
A Marks and Spencer's wool/nylon mix Argyle sock found under the bed of Nicholas Wilson of Largs, Lanarkshire (GB) exhibited a tensile strength of 6.3 gigapascals 9.17x105lb/in2, and a Knoop hardness value of 8412. Scientists at Edinburgh University estimate that Wilson's sock, slightly harder than a diamond has been masturbated into more than 11,000 times since its last wash<br /><br />-- Mon Aug 27, 2012 4:23 pm --<br /><br />Leicester:
Most viscous stool
The stickiest motion ever produced was a stool passed by driving instructor Eric Butcher of Leicester (GB). After being stuck in traffic for 5 hours in the hot summer of 1976 with nothing to eat but a 4lb box of dairy fudge and a bottle of cream soda, Mr Butcher went home to the toilet. The resultant excrement was so viscous that eight full rolls of standard Andrex toilet paper, approximately 1600 sheets, were needed before he attained an even vaguely acceptable level of anal cleanliness
