maccieblue
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 12 Dec 2008
- Messages
- 1,408
depends on what sort of welding you need to make a speech about ,mig,arc or spot
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BlueHammer85
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- 13 Oct 2010
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- 33,733
let me reassure you , ive been a best man 3 times, I've got a mate at work who I think is going to ask me to be best man at his wedding, and if he does I'm going to try my hardest to shag his future wife and put the video on YouTube for all to see, its the most horrifying experience of my life
Cheers mate :/
Tuearts right boot
Well-Known Member
3 days to go eh....there's still time.
aguero93:20
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- Some gobshites in day-glo green and black.
Just thank everyone for coming, then give his missus' tits a squeeze before telling her you don't know how he could cheat on someone like her (make sure this is audible to the whole room) and then sit back down. Job done.Good luck mate. I am fearing this day. My best mate is engaged and I'm a best man, I have never wanted a couple to split up so much in my life.
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worsleyweb
Guest
Finished it. 10 minutes. She is a firey one so fair chance she will not like something in it! Will let you know how it goes down. Just going to have a fair bit of wine before hand and go for it.
hilts
Well-Known Member
I am having another go at getting wed in 3 days and am about to draft my speech tonight.
Anyone got any tips on what to say? I assume I thank everyone and then just go on about how much I love the mrs?
How long or short can I make it?
I don't want to try and be funny as I can't be - bloody dreading it to be honest. All tips welcome!!
Just remember most are there to get free food and get pissed or feel obligated to turn up, they're not interested in how you met, how much you love each other, they don't care if your soulmates, who did the catering, how the fat bridesmaid looks lovely or what you and your best man got up to because they weren't there. If you have to have a first dance don't act like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze.
Say the bare minimum and sit down. Weddings are shit, the foods shit, the dj's shit, the little kids Should be at home in bed not running about everywhere like demented ADHD bastards. The whole purpose of the day is for a woman to wear a frock, that's it.
All the best have a great day.
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worsleyweb
Guest
Just remember most are there to get free food and get pissed or feel obligated to turn up, they're not interested in how you met, how much you love each other, they don't care if your soulmates, who did the catering, how the fat bridesmaid looks lovely or what you and your best man got up to because they weren't there. If you have to have a first dance don't act like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze.
Say the bare minimum and sit down. Weddings are shit, the foods shit, the dj's shit, the little kids Should be at home in bed not running about everywhere like demented ADHD bastards. The whole purpose of the day is for a woman to wear a frock, that's it.
All the best have a great day.
So you don't recommend saying I impreganated the fit bird at the gym and thought sod this - I then decided they are all mad and thought i best stick with it as I can't pay anymore to the csa.
hilts
Well-Known Member
So you don't recommend saying I impreganated the fit bird at the gym and thought sod this - I then decided they are all mad and thought i best stick with it as I can't pay anymore to the csa.
If you did it would be the first speech where I didn't want to stab the groom and best man. Also getting pissed isn't a good idea. I talked about the grooms acorn for 10 minutes the first time I did it. My second stab at it was even worse. Do an opening joke, thank people swiftly and sit down.