Wedding speech

[BLUEYESTU]

When I got married for the 3rd time a few years back I decided to be honest in my speech and listed all the things she did that made me love her. Things like -
When she puts clothes on the airer it looks like she stood 10 feet away and threw them at it,
When she cleans the mirrors it looks like she used a block of lard,
How she never says sorry or admits she's wrong,
How she's so guilible she believed me when I said the desert scenes in Star Wars were filmed on the beach just outside Barrow....

I didn't get a shag that night but the guests laughed a lot :-)

 

[taleofbluehalves]

very sensible.

Oh yeah forgot the important bit!! Thanks!

 

[Chippy_boy]

List all your previous shags and say the new bird is better than any of them. That always goes down well. So does she, I hear.

 

[nellyonthewing]

Just say if she's good enough for your mates she's good enough for him.

 

[west didsblue]

Does someone need to warn her that that the last one went batting for the other side after marrying you?

 

[BlueTG]

Don't show up for it. You won't have anything to say for the speech then and they'll have loads to talk about for the year, let alone the day.

 

[m7mcfc]

I started my wedding speech with the below -

Let me take you back to 13 May 2012. A beautiful sunny afternoon, Sergio Aguero had just scored the most dramatic goal to win Manchester City their first league title in 44 years. As my Dad and I we were jumping up and down at the Etihad in jubilation of what we had just witnessed, I said to my Dad, this is the best day of my life, nothing will ever top this moment.
And then along comes my wedding day – the second best day of my life.

I got a few laughs


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If I ever get married I might use this one.

 

[peoffrey]

Why do people marry numerous times? I'm 37 and have only ever met one I could've seen myself marrying. What could go right on a third time that didn't go right on a first or second? Unfortunate circumstances aside. I've been frightened of commitment ever since.

The only serious ex I've ever had absolutely freaked about other girls from my past. I can only imagine it being ten times worse when marriage is involved.

 

[manctheknife]

Why do people marry numerous times? I'm 37 and have only ever met one I could've seen myself marrying. What could go right on a third time that didn't go right on a first or second? Unfortunate circumstances aside. I've been frightened of commitment ever since.

The only serious ex I've ever had absolutely freaked about other girls from my past. I can only imagine it being ten times worse when marriage is involved.

'Those who fail to learn from history are condemned to repeat it.

 

[peoffrey]

'Those who fail to learn from history are condemned to repeat it.

Jeremy Corbyn has been married three times. George Galloway four.

Two male friends are on engagement number three. Number one or two didn't go on to marriage. Some tragic cases fall in love to easily or just have to be with someone for the sake of it. Sad really.