Wife's going mad about inappropriate colleague at work

Well; you're a S****s fan. Hardly a prize catch, are ya? Going around being a miserable **** all day, eating tofu burgers and drinking fair trade tea. While all the time wooing the ladies with tales of Moulden, Scott, White, Lake, Redmond etc etc. Be reasonable; if you were one of those female creatures, would you fancy you?

;-)

How's life with the septics?
You've really pissed me off writing that. I do not drink any tea at all. The rest, I accept is about right.
 
You've gone up in my estimation. Well done.

Mind you, you're starting from a low point!
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