Work/Life Balance

[mcfc1632]

do what you can do and go where you can go. I love my job but I wish I would have given more time for me and mine.

The impression that I have gotten when having met you a few times at European away games is that you do have a very good balance - but I can see that when you get to 'our time of life' - I am 60 (perhaps older than you) - reflection will always lead to identifying areas/times when perhaps it would have been better choosing a different decision/path.

I have been fortunate in lots of ways - but also have learned the hard way that 'being fortunate' - unless being born into money, rather than when you come from the (extreme) working class (Winton, Weaste, Lower Broughton) background that I do - does not happen unless you have certain attitudes to work - and life.

I left school at 15 and worked my way through a number of roles - repeatedly failing as they did not fit my attributes/capabilities - or I was just crap - until I got a really lucky break that saw me able to enter a profession that has allowed me to make progress based on performance and results - along with being fortunate enough to be presented with opportunities - and having n attitude to hard work that meant I could maximise them.

I made a big decision to leave the large corporation that I worked for at 40 and set up my own consultancy business - really scary - and that has led to me being in a comfortable position that I could decide at 50 to cut back enormously on my workload - gradually going from working an average of > 200 days per year down to initially 100 and for the last 5 years probably no more than 40 - which is work that make a nice break from home.

To inform the thread, looking back what I would take as some key lessons for me:

1. Don't get into a rut in a role that you are not suited for - I changed jobs several time between 16 & 19 before finding something that fit. Equally be true to yourself and don't simply cop out/run away because things are hard and unfair - things are really hard and I suspect more now than in the 70s. Also recognise the reality that a degree can really help - but a) degrees are two a penny nowadays and b) some people are better off spending those years actually working their way up - depends on the individual.

2. When you find the right role there is no substitute for really hard work - people owe you nothing and you will get less - being recognised and pushed forward comes from hard work and taking full advantage of opportunities that present themselves.

3. Have a medium to long term set of ideal objectives that you are clear about and use them to help big decisions. I used this when deciding to go independent at 40 because I decided it was the only accelerator that could lead to me being able to retire early.

4. Understand - really understand - that you are only 40, 45, 50 etc. once and you cannot buy or get years back - a trite thing to say I know but better to live a higher quality of personal life for more years than keep holding back until.............. At age 60 I am starting to go to more funerals - and a disappointing number of them are for people in their 60s that have not long retired, but...........

5. If you are lucky enough to live long into retirement you still need money - so be careful to calculate your needs and save enough for it. I guess that is the work/life balance judgement.

I was fortunate again when becoming a parent for the first time at 49 - helped make my mind up on the work/life balance decision to give up the full-time jobs - whilst turning off the money tap hurt I have no regrets.

 

[Manchester1894]

I remember when I was younger, I had one of those customer service jobs. It was 40hrs and average pay. A job came up for a team leader role with more money. I saw the team leaders in the business staying behind on average 10-15 hrs a week more to catch up with the amount of work they had to do even though their contractual hours were the same.. I then worked out the hourly rate was less for them. I understood their take home pay was more.. but where do you draw the line if your working extra hours for free?

Looking back, I suppose that team leader, might have become a manager, project manager, and might now be earning lots but I doubt the stress and family time have gone down. I've retained an average wage, but maybe gave too much time to myself. I don't know..

 

[Bill]

The impression that I have gotten when having met you a few times at European away games is that you do have a very good balance - but I can see that when you get to 'our time of life' - I am 60 (perhaps older than you) - reflection will always lead to identifying areas/times when perhaps it would have been better choosing a different decision/path.

I have been fortunate in lots of ways - but also have learned the hard way that 'being fortunate' - unless being born into money, rather than when you come from the (extreme) working class (Winton, Weaste, Lower Broughton) background that I do - does not happen unless you have certain attitudes to work - and life.

I left school at 15 and worked my way through a number of roles - failing as they did not fit my attributes/capabilities until I got a really lucky break that saw me able to enter a profession that has allowed me to make progress based on performance and results - along with being fortunate enough to be presented with opportunities - and having n attitude to hard work that meant I could maximise them.

I made a big decision to leave the large corporation that I worked for at 40 and set up my own consultancy business - really scary - and that has led to me being in a comfortable position that I could decide at 50 to cut back enormously on my workload - gradually going from working an average of > 200 days per year down to initially 100 and for the last 5 years probably no more than 40 - which is work that make a nice break from home.

To inform the thread, looking back what I would take as some key lessons for me:

1. Don't get into a rut in a role that you are not suited for - I changed jobs several time between 16 & 19 before finding something that fit. Equally be true to yourself and don't simply cop out/run away because things are hard and unfair - things are really hard and I suspect more now than in the 70s. Also recognise the reality that a degree can really help - but a) degrees are two a penny nowadays and b) some people are better off spending those years actually working their way up - depends on the individual.

2. When you find the right role there is no substitute for really hard work - people owe you nothing and you will get less - being recognised and pushed forward comes from hard work and taking full advantage of opportunities that present themselves.

3. Have a medium to long term set of ideal objectives that you are clear about and use them to help big decisions. I used this when deciding to go independent at 40 because I decided it was the only accelerator that could lead to me being able to retire early.

4. Understand - really understand - that you are only 40, 45, 50 etc. once and you cannot buy or get years back - a trite thing to say I know but better to live a higher quality of personal life for more years than keep holding back until.............. At age 60 I am starting to go to more funerals - and a disappointing number of them are for people in their 60s that have not long retired.

I was fortunate again when becoming a parent for the first time at 49 - helped make my mind up on the work/life balance decision to give up the full-time jobs - whilst turning off the money tap hurt I have no regrets.

I'm 63.
Whilst being a very lucky lad in life and in business i foolishly blindly went along with 'the plan". What i was going to do when i retire held no bounds. I was building a pot so big (well compared to my background) it was untue. So many plans. Untill at 62 i become poorly. It has changed everything about my life. I'll till have a pot, not as big, I'll still go to places, not as many, and maybe not as far, less permanent for certain.
So as i say, do NOT wait. Do it now.
Its the draw on friday for the CL, if you havent done one saying " oh I'll do the next one" don't. Have a look at doing this one. Do what you can whilst you can.

 

[Dave Ewing's Back 'eader]

My work life balance is totally out of flunter. Since 2009 it's been a life-life balance. Work's ne'er got a sniff. In fact, it's in the same kind of equilibrium as Jose's efforts last night. I'm just kitted up for a cycle down Rochdale Canal, Milnrow, upto Holingworth Lake, coffee at the Olive and Pickle, back home, and then off to the game at The Minihad. Life-life takes it outta yer. Stay working as long as yer can!

 

[mcfc1632]

I'm 63.
Whilst being a very lucky lad in life and in business i foolishly blindly went along with 'the plan". What i was going to do when i retire held no bounds. I was building a pot so big (well compared to my background) it was untue. So many plans. Untill at 62 i become poorly. It has changed everything about my life. I'll till have a pot, not as big, I'll still go to places, not as many, and maybe not as far, less permanent for certain.
So as i say, do NOT wait. Do it now.
Its the draw on friday for the CL, if you havent done one saying " oh I'll do the next one" don't. Have a look at doing this one. Do what you can whilst you can.

Really sorry to hear that you have become poorly - that must have been since I last saw you - Dusseldorf, Kiev?

Anyway, I agree with your views totally, I will be standing by the keyboard on Friday. Last week I booked a hotel in Kiev for the end of May - wish I had done it at the start of the season when it would have been cheaper - one with a fair cancellation policy - but just in case we get there....... If we do get there I am not going to take the risk of waiting for the next time.

I also upgraded by seats at the Etihad - CITY is and has always been the one thing that I am irrational about and even though I live in the South - I will always find a way of justifying the costs of seats and travel (well at least to myself if not my wife - she comes from Kent.....)

Making sensible decisions on balance is key - you need to have enough to support yourself either in normal working life or retirement - so cloth must be cut - but as you get older you realise more the need to make plans for the later years and have the balance to make the hard (if appropriate) decisions.

I do not want to introduce any 'doom and gloom' - and emphasise that proper planning and preparation is essential, but whilst having 20-30 years in retirement would be great - you do need enough money to live rather than just exist. I have had a brother in law die recently at 62 - he worked all his life and spoke often about how he and my sister were going to live on the money he had heavily invested in products that would mature when he planned to retire at 65. Last year a good friend (also 62) died after retiring only a year early after 30 years with a huge pension from BA - he had options several times in the years before to take a good package and retire - but just kept deciding to make his pension bigger.

Work/Life BALANCE - is essential - with the emphasis IMO on BALANCE. It needs enjoying in the 50s onwards, especially 60s onwards - and prepared for in the 30s and 40s.

 

[Deleted member 77198]

I remember when I was younger, I had one of those customer service jobs. It was 40hrs and average pay. A job came up for a team leader role with more money. I saw the team leaders in the business staying behind on average 10-15 hrs a week more to catch up with the amount of work they had to do even though their contractual hours were the same.. I then worked out the hourly rate was less for them. I understood their take home pay was more.. but where do you draw the line if your working extra hours for free?

Looking back, I suppose that team leader, might have become a manager, project manager, and might now be earning lots but I doubt the stress and family time have gone down. I've retained an average wage, but maybe gave too much time to myself. I don't know..

I am contracted to 35 hours a week and do not get paid overtime but I work upwards of 50-55 hours a week.

I am currently sat at home as I have a stress related migraine that has given me pain and numbness down the side of my face, head, neck and traps.

My job role is a one-off job in the company and nobody in the company has done this job before and they do not understand and do not care to understand what goes into doing the job, they only care about outcomes. I am not managed (which I actually like in many ways) because nobody knows the details of what I do. But because they don’t understand the details and logistics of what goes into the final outcome they land more things on my plate than I have time for.

The thing is I really like the core part of my job but don’t like the extra I am asked to do and I am very much under appreciated (I think some of the managers just think I turn up and press a few mouse clicks and jobs are done in minutes - they are clueless!)

I don’t feel like it’s worth it.