A girl who was a few years above me in high school is going out with Darren Gibson, so as a result you'd see him in the area now and then....he always had the big pretentious car, swagger, etc etc....my friend was going out with the sister of the bird who is seeing Gibson, so they used to hang out a bit....one day I saw the aforementioned Mr Gibson and my friend getting out of a car in Timperley Village, near a cashpoint....so, I have him a piece of my thoughts.

''Hey Darren, why d'you lord it in that car when you're such a shite player?''

*you what?*

''cmon, you're nothing but a bench warmer, you can't deny it''

*but i've been injured!*

''fuck off, even Gary Neville gets started before you''

end of conversation, a very flustered Darren Gibson departs.

Me and my mate were in Panacea in Alderley when we spotted Dwight Yorke. My mate walks over to him, moves his mate out of the way, with a really big excited grin on his face. He then proceeded to say ' Hiya Mate, do you know where the toilets are in this place?' Cue Dwight Yorke telling him to fuck off!

Was sat at a charity dinner in Dublin on a table with dwight yorke just as he'd moved to Blackburn.took a shine to me as I had a few birds with me.snapper asks us to pose for a pic but had no idea who he was,so I informed her just as she took the pic "this is dwight yorke,father of the year.can't score for shit unless it's with a slag like Jordan"..he went pale.then pointed to a mate across the room who's a singer and shouted "hey Luke,u shagged Jordan..was she going out with dwight yorke at the time?"...not realising who was beside me shouted back "I think so yeah"...yorke was disgusted.still have the pic.

Funny thing was he stormed off but came back hours later as he wanted a skirt off our table.lad has no dignity,in fairness though he never rose to it lol

Bloke at my new work was telling me about a the times when Ashley Young used to come in when he played for Villa. One bloke who was not a massive fan of football but a nice guy was serving him during the time of the 2010 world cup and the conversation went something like this.

Employee: So Ashley, have you been watching the football?

Ashley: Yeah I have

Employee: Yeaahhhh.....Did you not want to go out there and play too?


Apparently he was not too happy.

Got off the train at Macc on the Sunday after the Cup final last year. Me & my mate walking alongside Dwight Yorke down the platform.

I asked whether he'd been to the final? "No, I've been doing Goals on Sunday".

I said he looked trim, was he still playing? "No, I never want to kick a ball again, Golf is my sport".

He then asked me & my mate did we play. Before I could answer, my mate replied:

"Yeah, I'm shit hot, but I sometimes struggle getting my ball over the drawbridge and through the door of the windmill".

Everyone within earshot burst out laughing. Dwight was less than impressed.

I was working near the swamp not long after Neville had gifted the goat and city the derby. I went to get some lunch from the shops where macaris chippy is when low and behold there's Neville doing a photoshoot next to the twat busby way sign, as I walked pass I was looking at him and he must have thought I was a rag cos he said hi just as I was saying hiya Gary same again in the next derby hey feed the goat and he will score TWICE out loud and laughing walking into the shop, still have a little chuckle to myself every time I see the ugly **** on the tv

About 20 years ago when I was still playing in pub football, our team had had a great season. We won the cup and were runners up. At our presentation night the landlord had arranged for 2 ex rag players( that lived local) to present the annual trophies.
My great season continued as I won Player of the Year , Players Player of the Year and Leading goalscorer.
The DJ asked if I'd like to say a few words. Alex Stepney and Brian Greenhoff were not impressed when I thanked The Manchester City Supporters Club first.
The last I remember of that night is Alex Stepney arguing with the landlord while all my City mates pissed themselves laughing.

Great read

One or two amusing tales but to be honest, telling nicky butt to fuck off whilst hes sat with his kids or giving ronaldo the v's when in the safety of your car is a bit embarrassing really.

I agree, although I pissed myself at the story of the bloke who nicked Denis Irwins coat, went thru the pockets and then chucked it in the river.