Back when Tommy Doc was their manager I was working in Jimmy Saville's club when Lou Macari came in. I said "Oi, Lou, why aren't you serving in the chippy".

He wasn't happy.

Anyway, when he left his coat in the locker room I went over, told them I had been told to get it for him and take it to him and took it out the back.

The night before I had had toad in the hole for tea and had awful constipation. I dropped my pants and with al the might I could muster, desposited a log in his coat pocket.

When he came back a few hours later he was fuming, you should have seen his face. He started shouting 'Someone has had a shit in my coat pocket. I've been had over again by those damn City fans'.

Anyway, I wasn't there to witness this as the effort I had to muster to overcome the constipation was so much that I had ruptured my anal passage. I got a mate to take the coat back to the cloak room but I was writhing in agony on the floor and an ambulance had to be called. Two hours later I was having life saving surgery. Imagine my surprise when I woke up the following day and two coppers were waiting to arrest me. They had put two and two together and had me bang to rights for shitting in a coat.

I got five years, served three, lost my job and family and haven't seen any of my children in 30 years. Oh, and I have a plastic bag attached to my waist at all times now.

Still, got one over on that Rag Macari though, eh.

that has got to be one of the funniest "stories" of all time - or maybe i've just been up all night!

Back when Tommy Doc was their manager I was working in Jimmy Saville's club when Lou Macari came in. I said "Oi, Lou, why aren't you serving in the chippy".

He wasn't happy.

Anyway, when he left his coat in the locker room I went over, told them I had been told to get it for him and take it to him and took it out the back.

The night before I had had toad in the hole for tea and had awful constipation. I dropped my pants and with al the might I could muster, desposited a log in his coat pocket.

When he came back a few hours later he was fuming, you should have seen his face. He started shouting 'Someone has had a shit in my coat pocket. I've been had over again by those damn City fans'.

Anyway, I wasn't there to witness this as the effort I had to muster to overcome the constipation was so much that I had ruptured my anal passage. I got a mate to take the coat back to the cloak room but I was writhing in agony on the floor and an ambulance had to be called. Two hours later I was having life saving surgery. Imagine my surprise when I woke up the following day and two coppers were waiting to arrest me. They had put two and two together and had me bang to rights for shitting in a coat.

I got five years, served three, lost my job and family and haven't seen any of my children in 30 years. Oh, and I have a plastic bag attached to my waist at all times now.

Still, got one over on that Rag Macari though, eh.

Back when Tommy Doc was their manager I was working in Jimmy Saville's club when Lou Macari came in. I said "Oi, Lou, why aren't you serving in the chippy".

He wasn't happy.

Anyway, when he left his coat in the locker room I went over, told them I had been told to get it for him and take it to him and took it out the back.

The night before I had had toad in the hole for tea and had awful constipation. I dropped my pants and with al the might I could muster, desposited a log in his coat pocket.

When he came back a few hours later he was fuming, you should have seen his face. He started shouting 'Someone has had a shit in my coat pocket. I've been had over again by those damn City fans'.

Anyway, I wasn't there to witness this as the effort I had to muster to overcome the constipation was so much that I had ruptured my anal passage. I got a mate to take the coat back to the cloak room but I was writhing in agony on the floor and an ambulance had to be called. Two hours later I was having life saving surgery. Imagine my surprise when I woke up the following day and two coppers were waiting to arrest me. They had put two and two together and had me bang to rights for shitting in a coat.

I got five years, served three, lost my job and family and haven't seen any of my children in 30 years. Oh, and I have a plastic bag attached to my waist at all times now.

Still, got one over on that Rag Macari though, eh.