When I started my new job, I was introduced to the office staff upstairs. The last office was the HR manager called Angela. I said hello, shook her hand and went back downstairs to continue the tour of the factory with my foreman. I said to him " I'm sure I've seen that woman somewhere before".
A bit later on, my foreman come over to me and said " I told Angela you thought you knew her from somewhere and she said you'd stood her up years ago, so I asked her what kind of bloke you were and she said he's just a fucking dick".

Got asked by a colleague at work years ago if I fancied a blind date with a female friend of his, now I was already worried as he was from Bacup and if anyone's been up there it's fucking weird, but as id been plums for a couple of months I thought why not?!! So he sorted it for that Friday. Not expecting much more than a 6 fingered gargoyle I tentatively approached the door - fuck me the most stunning bird I'd seen in years answered the door, now me all cocky and confident of getting a jump with a minger spent the next few hours stumbling through shit conversation and knowing I was punching way way above my weight.

Anyway ended up plums back home by 10.

never seen them before, brilliant, my 3 yo thinks I've gone mad 'cos I'm pissing myself at Rupert the Bear

lol cool to hear