Noah's ark

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ethan23
 
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Noah's ark

Postby ethan23 » Sun Apr 08, 2012 7:47 pm

Genesis 6:1 - 9:17

Noah's Ark and the Flood - Story Summary:

God saw how great wickedness had become and decided to wipe mankind from the face of the earth. However, one righteous man among all the people of that time, Noah, found favor in God's eyes. With very specific instructions, God told Noah to build an ark for him and his family in preparation for a catastrophic flood that would destroy every living thing on earth.

God also instructed Noah to bring into the ark two of all living creatures, both male and female, and seven pairs of all the clean animals, along with every kind of food to be stored for the animals and his family while on the ark. Noah obeyed everything God commanded him to do.

After they entered the ark, rain fell on the earth for a period of forty days and nights. The waters flooded the earth for a hundred and fifty days, and every living thing on the face of the earth was wiped out. As the waters receded, the ark came to rest on the mountains of Ararat. Noah and his family continued to wait for almost eight more months while the surface of the earth dried out.

Finally after an entire year, God invited Noah to come out of the ark. Immediately, he built an altar and worshiped the Lord with burnt offerings from some of the clean animals. God was pleased with the offerings and promised never again to destroy all the living creatures as he had just done. Later God established a covenant with Noah: "Never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth." As a sign of this everlasting covenant God set a rainbow in the clouds

Surely nobody actually believes this bollocks

johnny on the spot
 
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Re: Noah's ark

Postby johnny on the spot » Sun Apr 08, 2012 7:49 pm

Wrong day mate, it's Zombie Jesus and chocolate egg-distributing rabbits this week.

gaudinho's stolen car
 
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Re: Noah's ark

Postby gaudinho's stolen car » Sun Apr 08, 2012 7:50 pm

ethan23 wrote:Genesis 6:1 - 9:17

Noah's Ark and the Flood - Story Summary:

God saw how great wickedness had become and decided to wipe mankind from the face of the earth. However, one righteous man among all the people of that time, Noah, found favor in God's eyes. With very specific instructions, God told Noah to build an ark for him and his family in preparation for a catastrophic flood that would destroy every living thing on earth.

God also instructed Noah to bring into the ark two of all living creatures, both male and female, and seven pairs of all the clean animals, along with every kind of food to be stored for the animals and his family while on the ark. Noah obeyed everything God commanded him to do.

After they entered the ark, rain fell on the earth for a period of forty days and nights. The waters flooded the earth for a hundred and fifty days, and every living thing on the face of the earth was wiped out. As the waters receded, the ark came to rest on the mountains of Ararat. Noah and his family continued to wait for almost eight more months while the surface of the earth dried out.

Finally after an entire year, God invited Noah to come out of the ark. Immediately, he built an altar and worshiped the Lord with burnt offerings from some of the clean animals. God was pleased with the offerings and promised never again to destroy all the living creatures as he had just done. Later God established a covenant with Noah: "Never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth." As a sign of this everlasting covenant God set a rainbow in the clouds

Surely nobody actually believes this bollocks


I was enjoying that until the last line. Do you think God left his microphone on by accident?

ethan23
 
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Re: Noah's ark

Postby ethan23 » Sun Apr 08, 2012 7:51 pm


CTID1988
 
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Re: Noah's ark

Postby CTID1988 » Sun Apr 08, 2012 7:53 pm

Two of EVERY animal.....The first time i heard this in primary school is when i officially became an athiest

johnny on the spot
 
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Re: Noah's ark

Postby johnny on the spot » Sun Apr 08, 2012 7:54 pm

Great, a Ricky Gervais clip. Burn your bibles and compost your Easter eggs.

kippaxwarrior
 
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Re: Noah's ark

Postby kippaxwarrior » Sun Apr 08, 2012 7:54 pm


Bigg Bigg Blue
 
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Re: Noah's ark

Postby Bigg Bigg Blue » Mon Apr 09, 2012 8:52 am

Whatever floats your boat.

bluemooncol
 
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Re: Noah's ark

Postby bluemooncol » Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:56 pm

this is the real Noah's Ark



ethan23
 
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Re: Noah's ark

Postby ethan23 » Mon Apr 09, 2012 3:15 pm

bluemooncol wrote:this is the real Noah's Ark




this just seems so shit... awful music and pretentious people

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