Top Tip: if your missus asks is this dress nice,don’t say

I’m always honest and say yes or no if asked my opinion....I’m still alive so I guess I’m lucky ☺️
 
It doesn’t fit you.

Holy fuck, I am now in the broken down hut adjacent to the dog house.

She said to me the other week, I’ve put on a bit of weight and some of my clothes don’t fit. Usual every year after a winter.

Asks me, I repeat back what she said and now I’m accused of calling her fat.

She is going through the menopause early and this as it turned out, wasn’t what she wanted to hear.

Before I go to the hut, I’m sitting in the garden listening to Mark Radcliffe on 6, with a big glass of wine.

I think I will sneak in later for something to eat. Too dangerous right now. She’s from Fife. Enough said.

What a day.

So if your Mrs asks something similar, lie like fuck, that’s all I’m saying.

Fucking hell mate how old are you?

I cottoned onto this when I was about 11.
 
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Is that this kid the scum are signing from Swansea?
 
Well I’m inside now. She’s in her bed. I’ve just had something to eat and am presently watching the Tory Party meltdown.

Swings and roundabouts.
 

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