Liverpool thread 2019/20

[The perfect fumble]

What are they calling this match against chelski? glorified friendly or proper trophy?

Depends on whether they win.

 

[Bodicoteblue]

I am in disbelief. The goal that never happened.

Like the littlewoods money that never happened.
Like the bent shirt sponsors they never happened.
Like Heysel that never happened.
Like the bus bricking that never happened.
And last but not least, the PL titles that never happened!

 

[dickie davies]

If you kill yourself it's suicide
If you kill someone else it's homicide
If you kill lots of people it's genocide
If you haven't become Champions of England in 30 years it's Merseyside

 

[andyhinch]

'Curiouser and curiouser,' said Alice...

https://www.liverpool.com/schedule/...h-city-16740924.amp?__twitter_impression=true

They really are a special over there.

 

[mexico1970]

At least someone had their wits about them to not wipe the blood from the lads nose before the photo op was taken.

 

[feedmpenzaandhewillscore]

But Tim Krul makes a save.

the only bit which makes sense and the only bit anyone cares about

It’s like saying ‘we nearly won the league’.

They have some form for that when it comes to Manchester City don’t they?

 

[Bodicoteblue]

Don't forget it's BOTH shirt sponsors. Standard Chartered have been fined $1.5 billion for money laundering, much of it on behalf of Iran, but sleeve sponsors Western Union have also been fined $586 million for money laundering on behalf of criminals and gangsters. Worn as badges of pride by scousers.

These are very disturbing facts. Thank you for bringing them to our attention.
I’m sure the gentlemen of the press will be astonished by these revelations and will soon be penning searing and comprehensive articles about this scandal and its implications for the welfare of the beautiful game.

 

[hello]

What are they calling this match against chelski? glorified friendly or proper trophy?

Totally dependant on outcome. European royalty wins another European trophy to honour the absent star keeper yawn means more etc etc or Chelsea luckily win meaningless friendly as many liverpool players will unable to focus on the game coming so soon after the injury to one their own yawn ywan means more etc etc.

 

[hcblue95]

'Curiouser and curiouser,' said Alice...

https://www.liverpool.com/schedule/...h-city-16740924.amp?__twitter_impression=true

Is that the official Liverpool fc website?

 

[Dave Ewing's Back 'eader]

Totally dependant on outcome. European royalty wins another European trophy to honour the absent star keeper yawn means more etc etc or Chelsea luckily win meaningless friendly as many liverpool players will unable to focus on the game coming so soon after the injury to one their own yawn ywan means more etc etc.

Yeah, they could roll out the same excuse the Rags offered when we turned 'em over on the Bavarian anniversary game - the players were far too emotional!

 

[Franny's toilet roll]

I am in disbelief. The goal that never happened.

Why is it that Scousers write like this, in mystical flowery prose always like a mills and boon for the scousers to Hoover up and regurgitate into songs and dittys and tales of yore. They have mastered the art of polishing a turd. They think it has become a diamond but to everyone else it is still a turd and smells like shite

 

[Ancient Citizen]

I'm loving the 'Littlewoods FC' tag, it shuts down completely all this financial doping bilge we've endured.

 

[flook]

That's because you don't understand that even a shot that doesn't go in means more at Liverpool.

reminds me of the old classic, if my auntie had bollocks she'd be my uncle

 

[I'm With Stupid]

'Curiouser and curiouser,' said Alice...

https://www.liverpool.com/schedule/...h-city-16740924.amp?__twitter_impression=true

Wow, I just realised that their official site. I thought it was the Liverpool Echo or some sycophantic blog post. That really is special. An entire gushing article about a fairly tame shot that was saved.

 

[kippaxwarrior]

'Curiouser and curiouser,' said Alice...

https://www.liverpool.com/schedule/...h-city-16740924.amp?__twitter_impression=true

.

 

[Nebuchadnezzar]

Why is it that Scousers write like this, in mystical flowery prose always like a mills and boon for the scousers to Hoover up and regurgitate into songs and dittys and tales of yore. They have mastered the art of polishing a turd. They think it has become a diamond but to everyone else it is still a turd and smells like shite

It's almost like romantic poetry. I've read it a few times to try and make sense of it and basically I am still in shock that such a long winded piece of prose was basically about a saved shot.

I imagine somewhere in the annals of Scouse writing that there is an article about a parallel universe in which Kompany's screamer smashed off the bar and up the pitch, setting Vardy through to put Leicester 0-1 up. Kompany then slipped and sent Vardy through to secure a 0-2 win. Alisson jumped for joy and in doing so, stretched his muscle in such a way that he prevented any injury ever happening to anyone ever again. Then a man and a woman kissed in the away end and now have two kids called Stevie and Ian.

 

[Blue Budgie]

What are they calling this match against chelski? glorified friendly or proper trophy?

Depends if Littlewoods FC win.

 

[jrb]

I've gone all Scouse

The most famous poem in English Football

I wandered lonely as a Scouse
That floats on high o’er Anfield Road,
When all at once I saw a crowd
A host of Red Men;
Along the KOP, beneath the flags ,
Ten thousand singing in the crowd.

 

[ganganvince]

What are they calling this match against chelski? glorified friendly or proper trophy?

Must be a proper trophy it was listed as one of the seven they were going for

 

[gordondaviesmoustache]

I'll put this here so you don't have to click on that shite.

Maybe Alisson gets injured anyway. Maybe he gets hurt in the Super Cup. Maybe it’s a worse injury. Maybe it never happens at all.

In considering that all: Is this world, the world where Krul stretches and saves Firmino’s attempt in the thirty-first minute of the first game of Liverpool’s season, the world we should inhabit? The one we are meant to inhabit?

The world in which your parents did meet and here you are. The world in which there lies Allison on the floor with one hand raised in the thirty-sixth minute and the other clutching at his right leg. And there was Liverpool’s season, with a three-goal lead turning aside an inferior opponent looking like champions-elect on a Friday night.

Liverpool’s goal of the season resulted in a save.

I wish his or her parents hadn't met.