I get some of it. I don't get some of it. For the younger crowds and kids, some is great. For me, I take it like pop music. Some, I ignore. Some, I enjoy. As long as the game has 11 blokes or women on either side battling for an inflated sack of air, then I won't go too Victor Meldrew.
Get the blue moon off the screen! Surely we can afford a lit up inflatable blue moon by the half way line, with Hugh Ferris perched from a moon hole, sporting a foam finger, in a daft t-shirt that he catches from a cannon fired from the south stand, all cheering the piped verse of "Garlic bread?!" Commentary will be provided by Chappy, who will be perched over a large swimming pool of inflatable blue and white ducks - and facepainters dressed as Team Shark will try to paint his arms in the 1999 away shirt design. Alan, if his new Chinese identity allows it, will be present at half-time to receive a golden 10% off voucher at the kiosks of the third tier, only.