Examples of stupidity.

[johnnytapia]

It was a time when old 70's glam rock stars were touring at Christmas
We booked to see Glitter but had no idea the "original, all American village people" were the support act
They were rubbish but as everyone was pissed, no one cared
Glitter was so bad it was great entertainment

An appropriate time (if there is one) to ask: What's 2ft tall and stands at the end of the cot? Gary Glitter's boots.

 

[johnnytapia]

Late '90s and the new £2 coin had been introduced. I told our receptionist that it had been especially designed so that you could pop the middle out and use it as a ten pence piece in case of an emergency for phone box use. Think she's still got the imprint on her thumb from all the pressing she did.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

In a little eatery in Chorlton a few years ago, the waitress came over and asked if we’d like to order some drinks. I had seen they had a few different types of cider so said “Can I have a bottle of apple cider, please?” the waitress replied “Oh I don’t think we do apple cider. We do have original, pear or summer fruits...”

A while later I saw her attempting to light the candles in the restaurant. She lit the match, held the match upright, tuned the candle (which was one of those glass cup sort of things) upside down over the match, and the match went out. She did this about six times and started to get dead frustrated and I heard her say “these matches don’t work”.

We had a family staying at our place in Pembroke and they'd left a really stupid entry in the guest book... 'and the fire doesn't work'. We were due down after them so I checked the offending fire. I found scorch marks on the logs where the daft twat had tried lighting them with matches.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

An appropriate time (if there is one) to ask: What's 2ft tall and stands at the end of the cot? Gary Glitter's boots.

That, my friend, is a classic.

 

[asahartford1]

A load of us lads went to Newquay for a week. After driving for 8 hours we arrived and went for a swim before going onto the camp site. When we came out of the sea, the driver, Reidy says "you will not believe this. I went in the sea with the car keys in my shorts pocket & they are not there now". He then says "if we come back tomorrow when the tides out I know roughly where I was swimming so we can just look there".

Did you find them ?

 

[Sir peace frog]

buying a pigeon for £1,200,000 , don't know the name of the person, but a racing pigeon has been sold to a chinese buyer

 

[DrBlueBob]

Years ago I traveled quite a bit with my job, I was on a plane going from New York to Chicago we were taxiing to the runway for quite some time, I said to the woman in the seat next to me, I think we're going by road, she said, oh I hope not I have an appointment this afternoon.

She probably tells of the time an idiot next to her on a flight reckoned they were going by road! ;-)

 

[Mr Kobayashi]

buying a pigeon for £1,200,000 , don't know the name of the person, but a racing pigeon has been sold to a chinese buyer

They reckon it's the same Chinese buyer who bought a male for similar amount last year and now plans to breed them.

Could have just got a pouter pigeon to steal it for them

 

[Fiftyyearsandcounting]

This is gospel truth. Back in the 80's, I was driving through Berkshire with the ex and passed by Greenham Common with all the female protesters. My ex, who was far from stupid, after seeing the posters and banners, asked "Why on earth would any one be against going on a cruise"!!!

 

[Tuearts right boot]

buying a pigeon for £1,200,000 , don't know the name of the person, but a racing pigeon has been sold to a chinese buyer

How many times could you flog the same pidgeon. Anybody want to buy a Seagull ??

 

[Fiftyyearsandcounting]

An appropriate time (if there is one) to ask: What's 2ft tall and stands at the end of the cot? Gary Glitter's boots.

That, my friend, is a classic.

As is - Most people enjoy After Eights, where as Garry Glitter...

 

[The Stockport Iniesta]

One of my favourites from a long teaching career:
During a Geography lesson, a Y5 girl in Wythenshawe remarked,
"Why do they always put rivers under bridges?"
She also got hit by a car crossing the road.

I was in a metalwork class, think it was the first year, and the teacher told this lad you need to pull your socks up, the dim fucker then bent down and pulled his socks up lol. Got the cane, as the teacher thought he was taking the piss haha.

 

[Paladin]

A couple of Christmases ago, we were playing Charades, or Pictionary, or some similar acting or drawing or guessing game. It was my daughter-in-law's turn.

She set to work, and we soon knew we needed to guess two words, and it was a concept. She mimed opening a book, and then put it down again. Dictionary? Book? Comic? Newspaper? She was pointing to various items in the room. The guesses were flying in. Christmas card? Santa? Apple? Candy cane? Jumper? Christmas card again, etc. Red? Cue frantic excitement. Thumbs up, we've identified the first word. Move on to the second.

She starts running up and down the room, flapping her arms. Fly? Bird? Plane? YES!! Red kite? Red Baron? Red Adair, Which one? Bird? YES!

Red kite? No. Red gull? Red eagle? No, no, no. We were running out of time. She's now standing on one leg, flapping her arms frantically, now putting one arm out in front of her mouth. Elephant bird? Robin red breast? (We were getting desperate). No. Blue jay? White eagle? The clock is ticking down. Woodpecker? Red sparrow? Red parrot? Dead parrot? Our repertoire of red birds now exhausted.

The clock ran down, and we didn't get it, even though we thought we were very close.

Go on then, what was it? Aaagh, you were so close, she said. Red heron, you know, when someone misleads you by giving a wrong clue. Cue fits of laughter from the whole family.

 

[Brightwell’s left peg]

This is gospel truth. Back in the 80's, I was driving through Berkshire with the ex and passed by Greenham Common with all the female protesters. My ex, who was far from stupid, after seeing the posters and banners, asked "Why on earth would any one be against going on a cruise"!!!
View attachment 5441

They were simply able to see the future re Cruises in the year 2020

 

[dozzie26]

I was in a metalwork class, think it was the first year, and the teacher told this lad you need to pull your socks up, the dim fucker then bent down and pulled his socks up lol. Got the cane, as the teacher thought he was taking the piss haha.

Saw my brother do this once when we were kids, my mum had said it to him.

 

[Sheikh rattle and roll]

A bunch of us were sat in the pub , one lad (white guy) said my dads a black cab driver in London
Another mates wife said but you’re not black

Admittedly she had alcohol

 

[cleavers]

A few years ago, I worked with a lad who thought when he was recording something on his video recorder, that he had to leave the TV switched on, with the volume up.

 

[idahoblues]

This is gospel truth. Back in the 80's, I was driving through Berkshire with the ex and passed by Greenham Common with all the female protesters. My ex, who was far from stupid, after seeing the posters and banners, asked "Why on earth would any one be against going on a cruise"!!!
View attachment 5441

I grew up about three miles from Molesworth( the other chosen site for the cruise) me and my mates would bike up there and get weed from the hippies

 

[york away to this!]

A lad I shared a house with (not in that way, silly) at college refused to walk under "the big light" in the lounge. The bulb had gone and been removed, obviously none of us could be arsed to buy a new one. The chap thought there was electricity dropping out of the bulbless socket. He was studying architecture, god help us...

 

[BimboBob]

A few years ago, I worked with a lad who thought when he was recording something on his video recorder, that he had to leave the TV switched on, with the volume up.

When we got our first recorder, late 70's maybe, my Mum thought the same. No one knew then though what happened. Like witchcraft.