I once took a Manchester A to Z, into the pub i played for and drank in, after going to City and handed it to a gobshite rag twat at the bar saying "this should help you if you ever decide to get off your fking armchair and he properly lost it.... Telling all his mates (2 or 3 were very handy as well!!) to hold him back as he was going to 'kill me' so I very calmly walked outside beckoning him to follow me and guess what!!
Ages afterwards after many months of throwing me dirty looks (soft cnut!!) i was in the bogs when he came in and I thought well this is it, so I stopped pissing instantly (not an easy feat!) turned around and was ready for a real bust up as there was nobody else in the bogs and guess what, true to form, he walked back out muttering that he wouldn't share a bog with that blue cnut!!
So, I then decided to have the longest of Tom Tits everrrrr and went back out into the pub some 40 mins later and watched him dash to the bogs holding his groin :-) Again, soft cnut!!