Muffin or Barm

She needs to spend more time with you. I'd suggest taking her for a stroll over the Glass Bridge and down Church Street. You might want to stop momentarily to admire the Eccles Cakes mural - she'll love that. Treat her to a chippy dinner only on the condition that she agrees it's a barm. If she refuses, tell her she can buy her own.
Next time she’s playing Netball in Eccles I’ll suggest that. :-)
 
I can see how that would be quite distressing for you (and any right minded person).

I was going to suggest you seek advice from 'Dear Dierdre' but I imagine she's been replaced by an AI chatbot these days.

Maybe some gentle correction over time will hopefully do the trick.
Dear AI doesn’t sound right really does it? :-)
 
It’s a barm from where I grew up, but I’d always look at a chippy’s menu and ask for whatever they call it, unless in West Yorkshire as it definitely isn’t a fucking tea cake.
Mrs Ewing, born within the sound of Rochdale Town Hall clock, calls a muffin a tea cake. I was in the butcher's t'other day and asked if he had any muffins. He put bread things on the counter that looked like muffins and I noticed it said 'bap'. I declined the purchase! If the fuckin' baker can't spell a two syllable word their product can go stale.
 
I think I’m a bit late adding to this thread however, I can say, the one and only answer to the question is, it’s a BARM.
 

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