Joke thread

[KS55]

View attachment 113891

As a sufferer from RA, I am mortally offended. Lucky for you that we are not in Scotland where their super dooper new hate law would see you spending a year in jail for this.
Nevertheless I shall be suing BM just as soon as I have recovered my composure. My therapist reckons I will be fine in about a year so his fees will add a fair whack to the damages.
Meanwhile I am exploring the possibility of suing on behalf of Rheumatologists everywhere who will be insulted by this outrage.

 

[Lavinda Past]

As a sufferer from RA, I am mortally offended. Lucky for you that we are not in Scotland where their super dooper new hate law would see you spending a year in jail for this.
Nevertheless I shall be suing BM just as soon as I have recovered my composure. My therapist reckons I will be fine in about a year so his fees will add a fair whack to the damages.
Meanwhile I am exploring the possibility of suing on behalf of Rheumatologists everywhere who will be insulted by this outrage.

Is that a passage from the next J K Rowling Harry Potter book?

 

[RadcliffeRick]

As a sufferer from RA, I am mortally offended. Lucky for you that we are not in Scotland where their super dooper new hate law would see you spending a year in jail for this.
Nevertheless I shall be suing BM just as soon as I have recovered my composure. My therapist reckons I will be fine in about a year so his fees will add a fair whack to the damages.
Meanwhile I am exploring the possibility of suing on behalf of Rheumatologists everywhere who will be insulted by this outrage.

Scouse alert!!!

 

[Lavinda Past]

What do you call a woman who throws all her bills on the fire?

Bernadette


My brother bought an old car yesterday. That's R Reg. I said why Reg? He replied A, because he's a bit deaf. He said he wanted to tell a shit joke about car on BM. I said join the Q reg.

 

[hammocity]

I recently had my testicles removed but thought I’d still enter the wanking competition at my local pub, I came nowhere.

 

[BimboBob]

Why can't you play cards in the Jungle? Too many Cheetahs about

Cheetahs? In a jungle?

 

[Grassland Blue]

What do you call a woman who throws all her bills on the fire?

Bernadette


My brother bought an old car yesterday. That's R Reg. I said why Reg? He replied A, because he's a bit deaf. He said he wanted to tell a shit joke about car on BM. I said join the Q reg.

Not a vantastic joke.
That'll be the Daewoo when we get one....

 

[Lavinda Past]

Cheetahs? In a jungle?

Perhaps they got lost.

 

[BimboBob]

Perhaps they got lost.

Or maybe got a lift?

 

[Lavinda Past]

Or maybe got a lift?

They may be on the World Poker Championship tour. Next week Antarctica.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Why are an Eskimo builder's semi-detached houses stronger than any others?

Igloos them together

 

[TinFoilHat]

Cheetahs? In a jungle?

Did you know one of the African names for them is Skousekints?

 

[Lavinda Past]

City women are on the verge of signing Cinderella. I don't think it will work out though. All she's known for is running away from the ball.

 

[nalari]

A man with no arms and legs hanging on the wall...

Art

A man with no arms and legs lying on the floor...

Matt

 

[RayCTID]

Cheetahs? In a jungle?

I didn't write the orignal joke

 

[Hertzblue]

 

[Hertzblue]

 

[Hertzblue]

 

[RiversideBlue]

View attachment 113985

And someone's stolen the wheels from the bus

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

As a sufferer from RA, I am mortally offended. Lucky for you that we are not in Scotland where their super dooper new hate law would see you spending a year in jail for this.
Nevertheless I shall be suing BM just as soon as I have recovered my composure. My therapist reckons I will be fine in about a year so his fees will add a fair whack to the damages.
Meanwhile I am exploring the possibility of suing on behalf of Rheumatologists everywhere who will be insulted by this outrage.

Your fingers must fucking hurt having typed all that out!