kippaxneil
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 10 May 2007
- Messages
- 316
Crikey, it's been a hot afternoon....spare a thought for all those working in Greggs today. They must be baking in there.
Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
bluethrunthru
Well-Known Member
balotellishaircut
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 20 Mar 2014
- Messages
- 7,181
- Team supported
- City
Can someone let me know the name of the bar in the 80s/90s Boston based TV show which featured Ted Dansen, Woody Harrelson etc
Cheers.
Cheers.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A bloke really hated his wife’s tomcat. One day, when his wife left for work, he decided he was finally getting rid of it.
He put the cat in a bag, drove to a nearby forest, and released it. When he returned home, the cat was sitting in front of the door, waiting to be let in.
The bloke was really annoyed but decided to wait a few more days. When his wife left for work again, once more he put the cat in a bag, drove farther away from home this time, and released it.
He came home… and shortly after him, the cat came home too and started meowing in front of the door to be let in.
By that time, the bloke was furious but he waited a few more days. When his wife left for work again, once more he put the cat in a bag, and this time drove 10 miles straight, 20 miles to the left, 15 miles to the right, then straight, then right, then left, then right, left, straight, left, right…
After more than 200 miles he stopped and released the cat.
In the evening, the home phone rang. The wife was already back from work, so she picked it up. On the other side was her husband.
“Oh, honey, it’s you?!” she asked in dismay. “Where are you??”
The bloke was absolutely fuming and could barely speak. “Is the cat at home?” he asked through clenched teeth.
“Yes,” his wife replied. “He came home five minutes ago. Why?”
“Put the fucker on the phone! I'm lost!!”
He put the cat in a bag, drove to a nearby forest, and released it. When he returned home, the cat was sitting in front of the door, waiting to be let in.
The bloke was really annoyed but decided to wait a few more days. When his wife left for work again, once more he put the cat in a bag, drove farther away from home this time, and released it.
He came home… and shortly after him, the cat came home too and started meowing in front of the door to be let in.
By that time, the bloke was furious but he waited a few more days. When his wife left for work again, once more he put the cat in a bag, and this time drove 10 miles straight, 20 miles to the left, 15 miles to the right, then straight, then right, then left, then right, left, straight, left, right…
After more than 200 miles he stopped and released the cat.
In the evening, the home phone rang. The wife was already back from work, so she picked it up. On the other side was her husband.
“Oh, honey, it’s you?!” she asked in dismay. “Where are you??”
The bloke was absolutely fuming and could barely speak. “Is the cat at home?” he asked through clenched teeth.
“Yes,” his wife replied. “He came home five minutes ago. Why?”
“Put the fucker on the phone! I'm lost!!”
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I just had a call from Trip Advisor.
They told me to leave my shoelaces untied and walk around for a bit.
They told me to leave my shoelaces untied and walk around for a bit.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Dave Ewing's Back 'eader
Well-Known Member
Belgium would be far better if they had made a statue of Lukaku pre-tournament and had that up frontl
citizen_maine
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 29 May 2011
- Messages
- 18,015
Did he leave his bike outside?
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
maccieblue
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 12 Dec 2008
- Messages
- 1,630
I see you are still posting ancient Bernard Manning jokes
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A bloke gets a telephone call from his boss who's screaming and shouting...
“Where the fuck are you? It’s 8:30 and you were supposed to start at 7:30.”
“Relax, I’m in my office.” he replied.
“No you're not” the boss roared. “I’m here, standing in your office.”
The bloke said, “Oh, sorry mate, I forgot to tell you about my new job.”
“Where the fuck are you? It’s 8:30 and you were supposed to start at 7:30.”
“Relax, I’m in my office.” he replied.
“No you're not” the boss roared. “I’m here, standing in your office.”
The bloke said, “Oh, sorry mate, I forgot to tell you about my new job.”
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all.
“How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me.
“Nothing” I slurred.
“Look at me!” she shouted. “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”
I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled... “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
“How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me.
“Nothing” I slurred.
“Look at me!” she shouted. “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”
I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled... “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
Sheriff Fatman
Well-Known Member
Doing my bit for recycling.
blueish swede
Well-Known Member
Well there aren't many new ones are there.
sir baconface
Well-Known Member
Was it the Rover’s Return?
RadcliffeRick
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 27 Oct 2011
- Messages
- 10,142
- Location
- Kuala Lumpur Via Radcliffe
- Team supported
- Manchester City since 2008 Chelsea before that :-)
Nah, The Woolpack I think
