Been there for a long time. Penny dropped with me around the election. It's never going to stop. People are always always going to disagree, and I will always get offended. Best just ignore it.
I better fucking relearn how, says I. Because I am not nearly as effective a debater or arguer as I was twenty years ago.
Found this useful in avoiding letting emotions and knee jerks get the better of me.
The steel man is the opposite of the straw man. It's being charitable, and building up the best possible form of the argument for the other side.
constantrenewal.com
"People want to have their thoughts taken seriously and not brushed aside."
Yeah, and if they do it to you, and you're too proud to admit it hurts that you can be dismissed - it can be an easy win for them. You can't plead good faith if you aren't legitimately making the effort to listen and recognise them.