Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[East Level 2]

There was a young man from Brighton,
Who said to his girl "Your a tight 'un",
She said "Bless my soul, you're in the wrong hole,
Shift over and get in the right 'un".

As broadcast in a programme about Limericks on Radio 4 a few years ago.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I've got a new job at the chess factory.

I start on knights next week.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

I've got a new job at the chess factory.

I start on knights next week.

Don’t be watching any pawn

 

[RadcliffeRick]

Don’t be watching any pawn

He could end up bashing the Bishop!

 

[sir baconface]

 

[Lavinda Past]

My wife is obsessed with Chris Barrie, so much so that we have to have sex watching old videos of his Red Dwarf character

Rimmer?

No, just sex

 

[Lavinda Past]

Jermaine Jenas has been sacked for allegedly sending 'Dick Pics' to a female member of staff on The One Show.

Turns out they are pics of Gary Lineker.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Breaking News...

Police searching for two missing American bully type dogs in Birmingham stopped a group of people running towards them screaming about dogs going wild.

The Policeman stopped one and said which way are they going?

He said "Well we're not fuckin chasing um!"

 

[oakiecokie]

Breaking News...

Police searching for two missing American bully type dogs in Birmingham stopped a group of people running towards them screaming about dogs going wild.

The Policeman stopped one and said which way are they going?

He said "Well we're not fuckin chasing um!"

Nicked from Bernie Manning.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I don’t know who invented the spoon but I bet they caused quite a stir

 

[Lavinda Past]

Nicked from Bernie Manning.

He ain't coming back for it then is he...?

 

[oakiecokie]

He ain't coming back for it then is he...?

Talk about robbing the dead.

 

[bernard o'silver]

Nicked from Bernie Manning.

Yep ,originally about a Lion escaped fron the zoo

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]