As much as I could without shitting my pants again!
When was the last time you soiled yourself?
I was out on the lash thursday, friday & saturday, and on sunday afternoon I took my new bird out for lunch (been seeing her for 2 weeks), I was sat at the table while she went to the ladies. While she was gone I thought I'd squeeze a fart out. Well some kind of weird shit-bubble exploded in my...