The Album Review Club - Week #195 (page 1310) - A New World Record - ELO

Side point. As I keep telling people, spotify autplays are tailored to the individual. Not strictly a true reflection of the artist and similarities to it, but what the algorithm thinks you yourself might like, based on the selection. They differ by user. So basically, if it played sam smith after this, that's on you mate ;). Or your kids have been using your profile.

Wasn't on Spotify and there is a bit of a difference on how each platform does it. However, you misunderstand it wasn't a pop at Sam Smith (whose debut album I am familiar with and quite liked) I was talking to what mood/genre/style which the algorithm seems pretty good with down to the individual song level rather than album. The next track up after that was a Corey Taylor song in a very similar vein. They were all that kind of poppy confessional slightly too over-emoted for their own good songs that end up conveying less emotional depth than they hoped to.
 
The great movie critic Roger Ebert once wrote a review of the movie “North” which I am going to paraphrase.

I hated this record. Hated hated hated hated hated hated hated it.

I would like to be charitable. Our dear friend @southamptonblue posted the new record I have loved the most on this thread — Bad\\Dreems “Dogs At Bay” (10/10). He’s already in my thread Hall of Fame. He’s allowed a misstep or three.

But he’s now bookended his brilliant pick with the record I — hands down — have disliked the most since this thread’s founding.

What did I hate?

I hated the tempos. Lugubrious is a word I enjoy. These tempos are lugubrious.

I hated the song lengths. The mean is over five minutes.

I hated that there were no melodies.

I hated that there were no hooks.

I hated that there in fact were no actual songs — just sounds, and utterances, and resting points when the sounds and utterances stopped.

I hated that the music cannot be categorized because the artist (and by the way, this is not a group, it’s one person) is trying specifically and self-consciously to create something uncategorizeable. I figure he/she/it/them will go whatever direction proves most popular. That is not art — it’s manipulation.

I hated the auto tune. If you can’t sing, stop trying.

I hated the lyrics. Jesus Christ on a fucking cracker, did I hate the lyrics. Blood, bones, wounds, God. They say nothing. They mean nothing. They evoke no feelings other than revulsion. The “love ballads” (I use both words loosely) are so, so, so bad as to be near comedic. “Vessel” — you’re wearing a fucking MASK. How is anyone supposed to take anything you “feel” seriously? I don’t, trust me. It’s like every “relationship” you’ve had took place in a horror film set in a wind tunnel.

Oh. I also hate that the artist has a name, sort of, and the rest of the band has numbers. And fucking ROMAN NUMERALS at that. There has never been any band that employed Roman numerals in any context that wasn’t pompous as fuck. When you name BAND MEMBERS after them, you have reached the true PINNACLE of pop-posity.

I hate that this asswipe ripped off the incognito schtick of my beloved Residents, who created incredibly weird but sometimes funny and even moving music.

I hate that this is popular. I read about the awards and reviews it’s won with incredulity. It’s as if the entire popular music press and listening public in the UK was being held at machete-point.

I hate that it is fucking inevitable that some day this **** will unmask him/her/them/itself, and there will be a huge top-of-headline to-do. I hate how forced and falsified that drama will be. “Vessel” let me tell you something: you are not fucking Banksy. You aren’t revolutionary, sardonic, anarchic, funny, creative or interesting. Perhaps you wear the mask for fear of being discovered in case the world wakes and realiz(s)es your “music” is an absolute tower of steaming shite.

In short, this record is the Donald Trump of music. It has no redeeming qualities. None. It’s pure cynicism and greed and darkness and pomposity and stupidity. It wouldn’t surprise me if Eric or Don Jr. was behind it. Or maybe Kimberley Guilfoyle, only none of them are British.

The only reason that this isn’t a 1/10 is that Burt Reynolds once made a record, and Yoko Ono is still alive and could still make something worse than this. Also DYWTYLM is okay.

2/10, and — for one of the few times I am in lockstep with and shall quote @BimboBob — “that’s generous.”
 
Last edited:
The great movie critic Roger Ebert once wrote a review of the movie “North” which I am going to paraphrase.

I hated this record. Hated hated hated hated hated hated hated it.

I would like to be charitable. Our dear friend @southamptonblue posted the new record I have loved the most on this thread — Bad\\Dreems “Dogs At Bay” (10/10) and one I liked a lot — the DBTs “Southern Rock Opera” (9/10). He’s already in my thread Hall of Fame. He’s allowed a misstep or three.

But he’s now bookended his other brilliant picks with the record I — hands down — have disliked the most since this thread’s founding.

What did I hate?

I hated the tempos. Lugubrious is a word I enjoy. These tempos are lugubrious.

I hated the song lengths. The mean is over five minutes.

I hated that there were no melodies.

I hated that there were no hooks.

In fact, I hated that there in fact there were actually no songs, just sounds, and resting points when the sounds stopped.

I hated that the music cannot be categorized because the artist (and by the way, this is not a group, it’s one person) is trying specifically and self-consciously to create something uncategorizeable. I figure he/she/it/them will go whatever direction proves most popular. That is not art — it’s manipulation.

I hated the auto tune. If you can’t sing, stop trying.

I hated the lyrics. Jesus Christ on a fucking cracker, did I hate the lyrics. Blood, bones, wounds, God. They say nothing. They mean nothing. They evoke no feelings other than revulsion. The “love ballads” (I use both words loosely) are so, so, so bad as to be near comedic. “Vessel” — you’re wearing a fucking MASK. How is anyone supposed to take anything you “feel” seriously? I don’t, trust me. It’s like every “relationship” you’ve had took place in a horror film set in a wind tunnel.

Oh. I also hate the fact that the artist has a name, sort of, and the rest of the band has numbers. And fucking ROMAN NUMERALS at that. There has never been any band that employed Roman numerals in any context that wasn’t pompous as fuck. When you name BAND MEMBERS after them, you have reached the true PINNACLE of pop-posity.

I hate the fact that this asswipe ripped off the incognito schtick of my beloved Residents, who created incredibly weird but sometimes funny and even moving music.

I hate the fact that this is popular. I read about the awards and reviews it’s won with incredulity. It’s as if the entire popular music press and listening public in the UK was being held at machete-point.

I hate the fact that it is fucking inevitable that some day this **** will unmask him/her/them/itself, and there will be a huge top-of-headline to-do. I hate how forced and falsified that drama will be. “Vessel” let me tell you something: you are not fucking Banksy. You aren’t revolutionary, sardonic, anarchic, funny, creative or interesting. Perhaps you wear the mask for fear of being discovered in case the world wakes and realiz(s)es your “music” is an absolute tower of steaming shite.

In short, this record is the Donald Trump of music. It has no redeeming qualities. None. It’s pure cynicism and greed and pomposity and stupidity. It wouldn’t surprise me if Eric or Don Jr. was behind it. Or maybe Kimberley Guilfoyle, only none of them are British.

The only reason that this isn’t a 1/10 is that Burt Reynolds once made a record, and Yoko Ono is still alive and could still make something worse than this. Also DYWTYLM is okay.

2/10, and — for one of the few times I am in lockstep with and shall quote @BimboBob — “that’s generous.”
Kendo Nagasaki ?
 
I would like to be charitable. Our dear friend @southamptonblue posted the new record I have loved the most on this thread — Bad\\Dreems “Dogs At Bay” (10/10) — and one I liked a lot — the DBTs “Southern Rock Opera” (9/10). He’s already in my thread Hall of Fame. He’s allowed a misstep or three.
1741958938752.png

I'm your fact-check. Credit where credit is due to bennyboy.

(and it would have scored higher if I was around too)
 
The great movie critic Roger Ebert once wrote a review of the movie “North” which I am going to paraphrase.

I hated this record. Hated hated hated hated hated hated hated it.

I would like to be charitable. Our dear friend @southamptonblue posted the new record I have loved the most on this thread — Bad\\Dreems “Dogs At Bay” (10/10) — and one I liked a lot — the DBTs “Southern Rock Opera” (9/10). He’s already in my thread Hall of Fame. He’s allowed a misstep or three.

But he’s now bookended his other brilliant picks with the record I — hands down — have disliked the most since this thread’s founding.

What did I hate?

I hated the tempos. Lugubrious is a word I enjoy. These tempos are lugubrious.

I hated the song lengths. The mean is over five minutes.

I hated that there were no melodies.

I hated that there were no hooks.

In fact, I hated that there in fact there were actually no songs, just sounds, and resting points when the sounds stopped.

I hated that the music cannot be categorized because the artist (and by the way, this is not a group, it’s one person) is trying specifically and self-consciously to create something uncategorizeable. I figure he/she/it/them will go whatever direction proves most popular. That is not art — it’s manipulation.

I hated the auto tune. If you can’t sing, stop trying.

I hated the lyrics. Jesus Christ on a fucking cracker, did I hate the lyrics. Blood, bones, wounds, God. They say nothing. They mean nothing. They evoke no feelings other than revulsion. The “love ballads” (I use both words loosely) are so, so, so bad as to be near comedic. “Vessel” — you’re wearing a fucking MASK. How is anyone supposed to take anything you “feel” seriously? I don’t, trust me. It’s like every “relationship” you’ve had took place in a horror film set in a wind tunnel.

Oh. I also hate the fact that the artist has a name, sort of, and the rest of the band has numbers. And fucking ROMAN NUMERALS at that. There has never been any band that employed Roman numerals in any context that wasn’t pompous as fuck. When you name BAND MEMBERS after them, you have reached the true PINNACLE of pop-posity.

I hate the fact that this asswipe ripped off the incognito schtick of my beloved Residents, who created incredibly weird but sometimes funny and even moving music.

I hate the fact that this is popular. I read about the awards and reviews it’s won with incredulity. It’s as if the entire popular music press and listening public in the UK was being held at machete-point.

I hate the fact that it is fucking inevitable that some day this **** will unmask him/her/them/itself, and there will be a huge top-of-headline to-do. I hate how forced and falsified that drama will be. “Vessel” let me tell you something: you are not fucking Banksy. You aren’t revolutionary, sardonic, anarchic, funny, creative or interesting. Perhaps you wear the mask for fear of being discovered in case the world wakes and realiz(s)es your “music” is an absolute tower of steaming shite.

In short, this record is the Donald Trump of music. It has no redeeming qualities. None. It’s pure cynicism and greed and pomposity and stupidity. It wouldn’t surprise me if Eric or Don Jr. was behind it. Or maybe Kimberley Guilfoyle, only none of them are British.

The only reason that this isn’t a 1/10 is that Burt Reynolds once made a record, and Yoko Ono is still alive and could still make something worse than this. Also DYWTYLM is okay.

2/10, and — for one of the few times I am in lockstep with and shall quote @BimboBob — “that’s generous.”

So not a fan then ?
 
The great movie critic Roger Ebert once wrote a review of the movie “North” which I am going to paraphrase.

I hated this record. Hated hated hated hated hated hated hated it.

I would like to be charitable. Our dear friend @southamptonblue posted the new record I have loved the most on this thread — Bad\\Dreems “Dogs At Bay” (10/10). He’s already in my thread Hall of Fame. He’s allowed a misstep or three.

But he’s now bookended his brilliant pick with the record I — hands down — have disliked the most since this thread’s founding.

What did I hate?

I hated the tempos. Lugubrious is a word I enjoy. These tempos are lugubrious.

I hated the song lengths. The mean is over five minutes.

I hated that there were no melodies.

I hated that there were no hooks.

In fact, I hated that there in fact there were actually no songs, just sounds, and resting points when the sounds stopped.

I hated that the music cannot be categorized because the artist (and by the way, this is not a group, it’s one person) is trying specifically and self-consciously to create something uncategorizeable. I figure he/she/it/them will go whatever direction proves most popular. That is not art — it’s manipulation.

I hated the auto tune. If you can’t sing, stop trying.

I hated the lyrics. Jesus Christ on a fucking cracker, did I hate the lyrics. Blood, bones, wounds, God. They say nothing. They mean nothing. They evoke no feelings other than revulsion. The “love ballads” (I use both words loosely) are so, so, so bad as to be near comedic. “Vessel” — you’re wearing a fucking MASK. How is anyone supposed to take anything you “feel” seriously? I don’t, trust me. It’s like every “relationship” you’ve had took place in a horror film set in a wind tunnel.

Oh. I also hate the fact that the artist has a name, sort of, and the rest of the band has numbers. And fucking ROMAN NUMERALS at that. There has never been any band that employed Roman numerals in any context that wasn’t pompous as fuck. When you name BAND MEMBERS after them, you have reached the true PINNACLE of pop-posity.

I hate the fact that this asswipe ripped off the incognito schtick of my beloved Residents, who created incredibly weird but sometimes funny and even moving music.

I hate the fact that this is popular. I read about the awards and reviews it’s won with incredulity. It’s as if the entire popular music press and listening public in the UK was being held at machete-point.

I hate the fact that it is fucking inevitable that some day this **** will unmask him/her/them/itself, and there will be a huge top-of-headline to-do. I hate how forced and falsified that drama will be. “Vessel” let me tell you something: you are not fucking Banksy. You aren’t revolutionary, sardonic, anarchic, funny, creative or interesting. Perhaps you wear the mask for fear of being discovered in case the world wakes and realiz(s)es your “music” is an absolute tower of steaming shite.

In short, this record is the Donald Trump of music. It has no redeeming qualities. None. It’s pure cynicism and greed and pomposity and stupidity. It wouldn’t surprise me if Eric or Don Jr. was behind it. Or maybe Kimberley Guilfoyle, only none of them are British.

The only reason that this isn’t a 1/10 is that Burt Reynolds once made a record, and Yoko Ono is still alive and could still make something worse than this. Also DYWTYLM is okay.

2/10, and — for one of the few times I am in lockstep with and shall quote @BimboBob — “that’s generous.”
But other than that, it was OK? :)

View attachment 149770

I'm your fact-check. Credit where credit is due to bennyboy.

(and it would have scored higher if I was around too)
Yeah, was going to say I thought that this was Benny's pick.

At this rate, MrBelfry will be evicted from the bottom step quicker than anybody would have thought possible.
 
The great movie critic Roger Ebert once wrote a review of the movie “North” which I am going to paraphrase.

I hated this record. Hated hated hated hated hated hated hated it.

I would like to be charitable. Our dear friend @southamptonblue posted the new record I have loved the most on this thread — Bad\\Dreems “Dogs At Bay” (10/10). He’s already in my thread Hall of Fame. He’s allowed a misstep or three.

But he’s now bookended his brilliant pick with the record I — hands down — have disliked the most since this thread’s founding.

What did I hate?

I hated the tempos. Lugubrious is a word I enjoy. These tempos are lugubrious.

I hated the song lengths. The mean is over five minutes.

I hated that there were no melodies.

I hated that there were no hooks.

In fact, I hated that there in fact there were actually no songs, just sounds, and resting points when the sounds stopped.

I hated that the music cannot be categorized because the artist (and by the way, this is not a group, it’s one person) is trying specifically and self-consciously to create something uncategorizeable. I figure he/she/it/them will go whatever direction proves most popular. That is not art — it’s manipulation.

I hated the auto tune. If you can’t sing, stop trying.

I hated the lyrics. Jesus Christ on a fucking cracker, did I hate the lyrics. Blood, bones, wounds, God. They say nothing. They mean nothing. They evoke no feelings other than revulsion. The “love ballads” (I use both words loosely) are so, so, so bad as to be near comedic. “Vessel” — you’re wearing a fucking MASK. How is anyone supposed to take anything you “feel” seriously? I don’t, trust me. It’s like every “relationship” you’ve had took place in a horror film set in a wind tunnel.

Oh. I also hate the fact that the artist has a name, sort of, and the rest of the band has numbers. And fucking ROMAN NUMERALS at that. There has never been any band that employed Roman numerals in any context that wasn’t pompous as fuck. When you name BAND MEMBERS after them, you have reached the true PINNACLE of pop-posity.

I hate the fact that this asswipe ripped off the incognito schtick of my beloved Residents, who created incredibly weird but sometimes funny and even moving music.

I hate the fact that this is popular. I read about the awards and reviews it’s won with incredulity. It’s as if the entire popular music press and listening public in the UK was being held at machete-point.

I hate the fact that it is fucking inevitable that some day this **** will unmask him/her/them/itself, and there will be a huge top-of-headline to-do. I hate how forced and falsified that drama will be. “Vessel” let me tell you something: you are not fucking Banksy. You aren’t revolutionary, sardonic, anarchic, funny, creative or interesting. Perhaps you wear the mask for fear of being discovered in case the world wakes and realiz(s)es your “music” is an absolute tower of steaming shite.

In short, this record is the Donald Trump of music. It has no redeeming qualities. None. It’s pure cynicism and greed and pomposity and stupidity. It wouldn’t surprise me if Eric or Don Jr. was behind it. Or maybe Kimberley Guilfoyle, only none of them are British.

The only reason that this isn’t a 1/10 is that Burt Reynolds once made a record, and Yoko Ono is still alive and could still make something worse than this. Also DYWTYLM is okay.

2/10, and — for one of the few times I am in lockstep with and shall quote @BimboBob — “that’s generous.”


“You asked me once,' said O'Brien, 'what was in Room 101. I told you that you knew the answer already. Everyone knows it. The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world.”​


1741959671854.png
 

“You asked me once,' said O'Brien, 'what was in Room 101. I told you that you knew the answer already. Everyone knows it. The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world.”​


View attachment 149772
I will say something that will shock you:

Thom Yorke would make this better.

That's how bad I thought it was.
 
The great movie critic Roger Ebert once wrote a review of the movie “North” which I am going to paraphrase.

I hated this record. Hated hated hated hated hated hated hated it.

I would like to be charitable. Our dear friend @southamptonblue posted the new record I have loved the most on this thread — Bad\\Dreems “Dogs At Bay” (10/10). He’s already in my thread Hall of Fame. He’s allowed a misstep or three.

But he’s now bookended his brilliant pick with the record I — hands down — have disliked the most since this thread’s founding.

What did I hate?

I hated the tempos. Lugubrious is a word I enjoy. These tempos are lugubrious.

I hated the song lengths. The mean is over five minutes.

I hated that there were no melodies.

I hated that there were no hooks.

In fact, I hated that there in fact there were actually no songs, just sounds, and resting points when the sounds stopped.

I hated that the music cannot be categorized because the artist (and by the way, this is not a group, it’s one person) is trying specifically and self-consciously to create something uncategorizeable. I figure he/she/it/them will go whatever direction proves most popular. That is not art — it’s manipulation.

I hated the auto tune. If you can’t sing, stop trying.

I hated the lyrics. Jesus Christ on a fucking cracker, did I hate the lyrics. Blood, bones, wounds, God. They say nothing. They mean nothing. They evoke no feelings other than revulsion. The “love ballads” (I use both words loosely) are so, so, so bad as to be near comedic. “Vessel” — you’re wearing a fucking MASK. How is anyone supposed to take anything you “feel” seriously? I don’t, trust me. It’s like every “relationship” you’ve had took place in a horror film set in a wind tunnel.

Oh. I also hate the fact that the artist has a name, sort of, and the rest of the band has numbers. And fucking ROMAN NUMERALS at that. There has never been any band that employed Roman numerals in any context that wasn’t pompous as fuck. When you name BAND MEMBERS after them, you have reached the true PINNACLE of pop-posity.

I hate the fact that this asswipe ripped off the incognito schtick of my beloved Residents, who created incredibly weird but sometimes funny and even moving music.

I hate the fact that this is popular. I read about the awards and reviews it’s won with incredulity. It’s as if the entire popular music press and listening public in the UK was being held at machete-point.

I hate the fact that it is fucking inevitable that some day this **** will unmask him/her/them/itself, and there will be a huge top-of-headline to-do. I hate how forced and falsified that drama will be. “Vessel” let me tell you something: you are not fucking Banksy. You aren’t revolutionary, sardonic, anarchic, funny, creative or interesting. Perhaps you wear the mask for fear of being discovered in case the world wakes and realiz(s)es your “music” is an absolute tower of steaming shite.

In short, this record is the Donald Trump of music. It has no redeeming qualities. None. It’s pure cynicism and greed and darkness and pomposity and stupidity. It wouldn’t surprise me if Eric or Don Jr. was behind it. Or maybe Kimberley Guilfoyle, only none of them are British.

The only reason that this isn’t a 1/10 is that Burt Reynolds once made a record, and Yoko Ono is still alive and could still make something worse than this. Also DYWTYLM is okay.

2/10, and — for one of the few times I am in lockstep with and shall quote @BimboBob — “that’s generous.”
haha amazing! There does seem to be a big fanbase who are having quasi-religious experiences to this music. I've also read that it's the third album of a trilogy exploring a relationship so I'm stuck between thinking it's poop or that it's a work of genius that i just don't get because i'm hearing the last part rather than the rest.
 

“You asked me once,' said O'Brien, 'what was in Room 101. I told you that you knew the answer already. Everyone knows it. The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world.”​


View attachment 149772
Ha i edited out a joke from my review where i mentioned that even as i fan of Radiohead i find this album pretentious. I was also going to recommend to the people who liked the piano ballads to go and listen to A Moon Shaped Pool instead. But it i didnt want to be that guy
 
The great movie critic Roger Ebert once wrote a review of the movie “North” which I am going to paraphrase.

I hated this record. Hated hated hated hated hated hated hated it.

I would like to be charitable. Our dear friend @southamptonblue posted the new record I have loved the most on this thread — Bad\\Dreems “Dogs At Bay” (10/10). He’s already in my thread Hall of Fame. He’s allowed a misstep or three.

But he’s now bookended his brilliant pick with the record I — hands down — have disliked the most since this thread’s founding.

What did I hate?

I hated the tempos. Lugubrious is a word I enjoy. These tempos are lugubrious.

I hated the song lengths. The mean is over five minutes.

I hated that there were no melodies.

I hated that there were no hooks.

I hated that there in fact were no actual songs — just sounds, and utterances, and resting points when the sounds and utterances stopped.

I hated that the music cannot be categorized because the artist (and by the way, this is not a group, it’s one person) is trying specifically and self-consciously to create something uncategorizeable. I figure he/she/it/them will go whatever direction proves most popular. That is not art — it’s manipulation.

I hated the auto tune. If you can’t sing, stop trying.

I hated the lyrics. Jesus Christ on a fucking cracker, did I hate the lyrics. Blood, bones, wounds, God. They say nothing. They mean nothing. They evoke no feelings other than revulsion. The “love ballads” (I use both words loosely) are so, so, so bad as to be near comedic. “Vessel” — you’re wearing a fucking MASK. How is anyone supposed to take anything you “feel” seriously? I don’t, trust me. It’s like every “relationship” you’ve had took place in a horror film set in a wind tunnel.

Oh. I also hate that the artist has a name, sort of, and the rest of the band has numbers. And fucking ROMAN NUMERALS at that. There has never been any band that employed Roman numerals in any context that wasn’t pompous as fuck. When you name BAND MEMBERS after them, you have reached the true PINNACLE of pop-posity.

I hate that this asswipe ripped off the incognito schtick of my beloved Residents, who created incredibly weird but sometimes funny and even moving music.

I hate that this is popular. I read about the awards and reviews it’s won with incredulity. It’s as if the entire popular music press and listening public in the UK was being held at machete-point.

I hate that it is fucking inevitable that some day this **** will unmask him/her/them/itself, and there will be a huge top-of-headline to-do. I hate how forced and falsified that drama will be. “Vessel” let me tell you something: you are not fucking Banksy. You aren’t revolutionary, sardonic, anarchic, funny, creative or interesting. Perhaps you wear the mask for fear of being discovered in case the world wakes and realiz(s)es your “music” is an absolute tower of steaming shite.

In short, this record is the Donald Trump of music. It has no redeeming qualities. None. It’s pure cynicism and greed and darkness and pomposity and stupidity. It wouldn’t surprise me if Eric or Don Jr. was behind it. Or maybe Kimberley Guilfoyle, only none of them are British.

The only reason that this isn’t a 1/10 is that Burt Reynolds once made a record, and Yoko Ono is still alive and could still make something worse than this. Also DYWTYLM is okay.

2/10, and — for one of the few times I am in lockstep with and shall quote @BimboBob — “that’s generous.”
I mentioned when nominating this album, that a short review (from me) would follow next week, for a particular reason.....I will tag you in it, as I think you might want to read it...... ;)
 
I mentioned when nominating this album, that a short review (from me) would follow next week, for a particular reason.....I will tag you in it, as I think you might want to read it...... ;)
I will look forward to it :).

It did cross my mind that the reason you delayed your own review is that you posted a record you despise. After all, there is no rule that says you have to post something you like. Also, this sounds quite unlike some of your prior nominations. The above post adds to my suspicion that this is the first thread Clarkie, or the equivalent of THAT football kit that gets posted every year on the leak threads . . . . .
 

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