Joke thread

[NZBlue]

Wasn’t he a famous gay singer/pianist?

No, that was Elton John

 

[Mid Wales blue]

Surely a Cork man jumping in the water would be called Bob.

And they’d probably be singing Happy Birthday to you!

 

[Fiftyyearsandcounting]

Last night, I had sex for the first time with my new girl friend.
She said I was a poor lover.
A tad harsh, I mean, how can she tell after just 2 minutes!

 

[casserole of nonsense]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

I'm glad your coat was nearby.
Hopefully, so was the taxi.
The plane to Outer Mongolia
And the salt mine you arrived at*


* watch some fucker post that there are no salt mines in OMG.

Why would they have salt mines in Oh My God ?

 

[Xhavenjoe]

First time posting on this thread - so I will keep the coat nearby. To understand this joke it helps to be Irish and even better if you're a Corkonian

I'm a simple guy but I still have feelings

 

[East Level 2]

It wasn't really that difficult, but then...I've got my bike outside

Your bike is outside? Decent WiFi in your chippy?

 

[bladdered]

Anyone fancy a Chinese?

 

[noseve]

I arrived home last night to find a concerned crowd gathered outside my driveway - turned out a young lad had come off his moped.

The situation called for quick action.

'let me through' I said,
'excuse me' , working my way to him as the crowd gradually parted

I reached the poor boy and hopeful faces looked towards me - "thank god, are you a doctor?"

No, I said, looking around... but that's my pizza!'

 

[bladdered]

 

[bladdered]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[talkativesprout]

View attachment 155951

a few adjustments

 

[jimharri]

 

[Giovinco]

I used to work in a bakery but didn’t make enough dough.

 

[jimharri]

 

[KS55]

What’s the difference btween a vitamin and a hormone?





You can’t make a vitamin.

 

[Bri1975]

 

[jimharri]

The guy was a genius. His delivery and timing was spot on.

 

[the-ecstacy-of-eight]

The chemical formula of water is H 2 O but when a dog drinks it it becomes K 9 P