You are the City Manager.

I suppose once you've drank loads of red wine and bribed the refs, the job's a piece of piss. It's getting the incriminating photos in the first place that takes real effort.
 
I'd compensate for my tactical shortcomings and lack of experience within the game by constantly 'dissing' united in the media, especially Ferguson and Macari. After a couple of weeks I'd make Mike Doyle look like Kofi Annan. That would definitely buy me some time with the fans before the inevitable sacking.

It would be a short, but highly memorable tenure. If nothing else, I promise it would be anything but dull.

Who do I send my CV to?
 
gordondaviesmoustache said:
I'd compensate for my tactical shortcomings and lack of experience within the game by constantly 'dissing' united in the media, especially Ferguson and Macari. After a couple of weeks I'd make Mike Doyle look like Kofi Annan. That would definitely buy me some time with the fans before the inevitable sacking.

It would be a short, but highly memorable tenure. If nothing else, I promise it would be anything but dull.

Who do I send my CV to?
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Sports Direct?
 
I would sign two athletic and technically gifted full backs. I would sign a Xabi Alonso type of playmaker and a Thiago type of central midfielder to rotate with Toure and partner Fernandinho. I'd even toy with the idea of Toure playing centre back alongside Kompany. For those that laugh, get your head around it because if Pep comes here, I'm pretty sure he will try it. He played him there at times for Barca, and he later moved Mascherano to centre back, before converting Javi Martinez into a centre back at Bayern. Provided you teach the team to press and prevent easy transitions, Toure would probably be ok.

I'd also play Silva and De Bruyne behind Aguero and rely on both full backs to generate width.
 
ono said:
I would sign two athletic and technically gifted full backs. I would sign a Xabi Alonso type of playmaker and a Thiago type of central midfielder to rotate with Toure and partner Fernandinho. I'd even toy with the idea of Toure playing centre back alongside Kompany. For those that laugh, get your head around it because if Pep comes here, I'm pretty sure he will try it. He played him there at times for Barca, and he later moved Mascherano to centre back, before converting Javi Martinez into a centre back at Bayern. Provided you teach the team to press and prevent easy transitions, Toure would probably be ok.

I'd also play Silva and De Bruyne behind Aguero and rely on both full backs to generate width.
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The Toure you see today isn't the one who was at Barcelona 7 years ago. I fully expect to see players in seemingly unnatural positions if Pep comes here but I don't think yaya at CB will be one of them.
 
Pablo1 said:
The Toure you see today isn't the one who was at Barcelona 7 years ago. I fully expect to see players in seemingly unnatural positions if Pep comes here but I don't think yaya at CB will be one of them.
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I do purely because he values ball retention over anything else so it is imperative that the centre backs are technically excellent. He is also very physical and tall. I'm not saying it will work, but I'd be shocked if he doesn't try it. He can't be any worse than Mangala or Demi anyway haha
 
On the first day I send them all for an eye test, and more importantly a colour blind test. This will determine whether our shit passing to the opposition is a medical condition or them being shit.

Also on that first day I send them back to school and a science class, where I will ask them to pass a ball through toughned glass. Once they accept that fact, then no excuse for hitting solid objects on the pitch, ie opposition players.

We'll take it from there.
 
Mr Ed (The Stables) said:
On the first day I send them all for an eye test, and more importantly a colour blind test. This will determine whether our shit passing to the opposition is a medical condition or them being shit.

Also on that first day I send them back to school and a science class, where I will ask them to pass a ball through toughned glass. Once they accept that fact, then no excuse for hitting solid objects on the pitch, ie opposition players.

We'll take it from there.
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So you were watching Clichy on Saturday as well.
 
One thing I would do with certain players ( you can guess which ones) is shooting practice with their weaker foot. I couldn't use my left foot much at all when I left uni but I got a job at a park on the sports hut when I was 22 . During the many quiet hours I took a football behind a tennis court and practised kicking it against the wall for hours using just my left foot. In a few weeks I could kick it 30 yards over the fence at the other end if the tennis court. Since then I have been able to kick with both feet and it become almost automatic. I think I once hit double figures for the season for my over 35's team with my left foot alone. If I can do this surely professionals should have the motivation to want to practise and improve so that they don't have a weak foot.
 
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LWashington said:
One thing I would do with certain players ( you can guess which ones) is shooting practice with their weaker foot. I couldn't use my left foot much at all when I left uni but I got a job at a park on the sports hut when I was 22 . During the many quiet hours I took a football behind a tennis court and practised kicking it against the wall for hours using just my left foot. In a few weeks I could kick it 30 yards over the fence at the other end if the tennis court. Since then I have been able to kick with both feet and it become almost automatic. I think I once hit double figures for the season for my other 35's team with my left foot alone. If I can do this surely professionals should have the motivation to want to practise and improve so that they don't have a week foot.
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I agree
 
Sack the scouts responsible for some of the players. Appoint a couple of top defensive coaches. Assuming it's close season. Clear out Sagna, Kolorov, Nasri, Mangala, Navas, Demi, Fernando and Bony. Sell Yaya to whoever wants him because he's earned a last pay day.

Get two new full backs. A centre back. A DM and a striker. The other squad places I'd fill with young players. They have to be given a chance.
 
I'd attach electrodes to the defenders' ball sacks and send a shock through the testicles of any defender who stepped up with his arm in the air instead of tracking runners.
 
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