Just on the covering it up thing, some years ago I was in the beer garden of one of the Twickenham pubs before a rugby match. There was this bloke who hadn't just done the Bobby Charlton, he'd gone above and beyond. He had it combed over from one side, then combed over from the other side, then combed over from the back, so the parting ran all the way around the side and back of his head.
It was a genuine work of art, the hair intertwined from the three combovers to thoroughly cover the scalp, gelled and hairsprayed into full compliance so not a single hair was out of place. But as it was a slightly windy day, the whole edifice vibrated in the wind, rippling up and down with each gust.
The entire pub was transfixed. People kept looking across in sheer amazement at the engineering project required to achieve full coverage. It was worthy of a salute from everyone.
But as a means of convincing everyone he wasn't really bald? Not totally successful, it must be said...