Top Tip: if your missus asks is this dress nice,don’t say

Magicpole

Well-Known Member
Joined
30 Sep 2016
Messages
19,384
Location
Scotland
Team supported
Celtic
It doesn’t fit you.

Holy fuck, I am now in the broken down hut adjacent to the dog house.

She said to me the other week, I’ve put on a bit of weight and some of my clothes don’t fit. Usual every year after a winter.

Asks me, I repeat back what she said and now I’m accused of calling her fat.

She is going through the menopause early and this as it turned out, wasn’t what she wanted to hear.

Before I go to the hut, I’m sitting in the garden listening to Mark Radcliffe on 6, with a big glass of wine.

I think I will sneak in later for something to eat. Too dangerous right now. She’s from Fife. Enough said.

What a day.

So if your Mrs asks something similar, lie like fuck, that’s all I’m saying.
 
It doesn’t fit you.

Holy fuck, I am now in the broken down hut adjacent to the dog house.

She said to me the other week, I’ve put on a bit of weight and some of my clothes don’t fit. Usual every year after a winter.

Asks me, I repeat back what she said and now I’m accused of calling her fat.

She is going through the menopause early and this as it turned out, wasn’t what she wanted to hear.

Before I go to the hut, I’m sitting in the garden listening to Mark Radcliffe on 6, with a big glass of wine.

I think I will sneak in later for something to eat. Too dangerous right now. She’s from Fife. Enough said.

What a day.

So if your Mrs asks something similar, lie like fuck, that’s all I’m saying.
We know, and think I have since my teenage years howvhave you survived this long and not learnt that simple fact of life.
 
Rookie mistake!

How long have you been married?

Try “That one doesn’t flatter your beautiful figure.” Or, “I like that one, but it doesn’t accentuate your eyes the way some of your other stuff does!”

Or, if you really want to shovel it, “No way you can wear that, because I’ll spend all night thinking about every which way I want to fuck you in it!” Sounds like you’ve been married long enough that you’d get credit for the compliment, but she’d be turned off at the thought of you bending her over in it!

.....or maybe not, and you have a WIN WIN!!!
 
It doesn’t fit you.

Holy fuck, I am now in the broken down hut adjacent to the dog house.

She said to me the other week, I’ve put on a bit of weight and some of my clothes don’t fit. Usual every year after a winter.

Asks me, I repeat back what she said and now I’m accused of calling her fat.

She is going through the menopause early and this as it turned out, wasn’t what she wanted to hear.

Before I go to the hut, I’m sitting in the garden listening to Mark Radcliffe on 6, with a big glass of wine.

I think I will sneak in later for something to eat. Too dangerous right now. She’s from Fife. Enough said.

What a day.

So if your Mrs asks something similar, lie like fuck, that’s all I’m saying.
.
bc2bf79e8878b9791f8e2978c3e045af.jpg
 
Rookie mistake!

How long have you been married?

Try “That one doesn’t flatter your beautiful figure.” Or, “I like that one, but it doesn’t accentuate your eyes the way some of your other stuff does!”

Or, if you really want to shovel it, “No way you can wear that, because I’ll spend all night thinking about every which way I want to fuck you in it!” Sounds like you’ve been married long enough that you’d get credit for the compliment, but she’d be turned off at the thought of you bending her over in it!

.....or maybe not, and you have a WIN WIN!!!

I always have said. If you want my opinion then I will be honest. So you know I’m not bullshitting. It worked up until recently.
 
Was looking in a jewellers window somewhere on the Florida Keys years ago and overheard a woman asking her husband about a rather expensive ring.
" what do you think of this " she says
" It's nice honey but it'll make you look fat "

Classic reply I thought and just nodded to him in approval. We both knew.......
 

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top
  AdBlock Detected
Bluemoon relies on advertising to pay our hosting fees. Please support the site by disabling your ad blocking software to help keep the forum sustainable. Thanks.