Favourite inane statements from managers and players

I recall Docherty saying - can't recall the context - that if United had only scored one more goal in each game they'd have been a lot better off.
So would every team in the League, Doc.
 
Was it the 2016/17 or 2017/18 season when Fergie commented on United's fortunes with this pearler?

"If we hadn't drawn as many games, we could have won the league".
 
Sir Piss Can of Govan

"He could have killed him"

"In the Van Horse Face situation you can clearly see that he could have been killed,"

when a ball was kicked by Ashley Williams of Swansea towards Robin Van Horse Face who was prone on the floor after taking a dive to get Howard Webb a penalty.

Sir Bacon Face also added that was the "most dangerous thing he'd seen on a football field for years."

The Beetroot headed, blind, bitter, whiskey addled, shaking like a shitting dog, twunt
 
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After we'd been shafted again by the Officials, Pearce: dees finks even emselves aht ovah the coasse uva seeson dint they?

No, Stuart, they most certainly do not.
 

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