Favourite inane statements from managers and players

Michael Owen once said that "there is no finer sight in football than when Sane opens his legs".
When I was reffing in the Northern League I gave the away side a last minute penalty in the last game of the season which they scored to make it 1 1. The home manager came in the changing rooms and said "you have just got us relegated with that decision". Checked the league tables and they were 13 points short of 4th bottom after this result????
 
Ally MaCleod Scotland manager at the 1978 world cup in Argentina, already lost 3-1 to Peru, were then held to a 1-1 draw with Iran.

Back in the grounds of the team's hotel a little dog ran up to MacLeod, and the manager reached down to pat the stray.

"This little fellow is my last friend in the world," he said mournfully. The dog bit him.
 
"It was like being in a foreign country" Ian Rush on his time at Juventus,

"I'm a firm believer if you score one goal, then the other team have to score two to win" Howard "Dour" Wilkinson on how to win a game

"Well, Clive, it's all about the two M's—movement and positioning" Players of African decent baiting, light bulb head Ron Atkinson

"Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side," David "Mensa" Beckham after being asked if he was "volatile" on the pitch.

"Playing with wingers is more effective against European side like Brazil than English sides like Wales." Former England manger and Geography Professor Ron Greenwood
 
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"I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet." Theological genius David "I can do joined up writing now" Beckham

"Djimi Traore had to adapt to the English game, and he did that by going out on loan to Lens last season." Ian Rush clearly studied geography under Ron Greenwood

“I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.” - Mark Draper, another one of Ron Greenwoods geography students

"I think that France, Germany, Spain, Holland and England will join Brazil in the semi-finals." Brazil legend,Viagra salesmen and quantum mathematician Pele

"Italy cannot beat you but you can lose to Italy." - Total football genius and stoic philosopher Johan Cruyff

The Brazilians were South America, and the Ukranians will be more European.” - Phil "Lurch" Neville, displaying that he is not as daft as his unsual phizog would otherwise suggest
 
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Shaggy said:
Playing with wingers is more effective against European side like Brazil than English sides like Wales." Former England manger and Geography Professor Ron Greenwood
Click to expand...

That's a double whammy. Beautiful… A good, good belly laugh. Love your examples, by the way @Shaggy, suspect you're making it up, but then, YCMIU. The Beckham one is a thing for the ages.
 
Loved Jimmy Armfield but “I'd like to have seen Tony Morley left on as a down-and-out winger” always makes me smile.
 
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