15 posts and already 2 attempts at a Clarkie (one with a half twist and pike). Pretty good going!
Anyway, to take up your "challenge", I haven't got even a coffee stain on my licence, let alone points, and have been driving for 45 years, the majority of which doing 25,000+ miles per year in the UK and Europe.
The most I've had to drink before driving is 3 pints, and that was at least 2 hours before I drove, and never taken drugs (apart from my prescription ones).
Before you say i'm a goody two shoes, when I left one job, I was given a tankard with a fish shaped handle, to remind people that I drank like one.
Some laws are there for a good reason, drink driving being one. IMO, the punishments should be more severe, but that's one for the Off Topic thread.