Used to date a girl but she friendzoned me

[Blue Mist]

I had a few interesting dates last year after a long term split. Found it helped enormously at the time, but never really settled (despite almost falling for someone so incredibly beautiful...). Not sure I was fully ready tbf so stopped all that 'nonsense' now...worked on myself and tried to be far more happier in my own skin. Sex aside, I don't really miss that kind of company at the moment...is that odd?

FFS that is 2 of you on here now, will one of you just buy me a big fuck off tele ?

 

[HolisticJim]

Mate, you get one go at being youthful.
Fuck everything in a skirt you can. One day you'll find someone and for both of you it will be like a bolt of lightning.

I met a girl when I was 18 and stayed with her till I was 28. Then I met another girl almost straight away and stayed with her till I was 43.

All this years a could have been shagging. I'm shagging now but I'll tell you, mid 40's shagging just isn't the same.

 

[Barcon]

Thanks to this thread I now have a list of gimps that know what bumble and friendzone means.

 

[BimboBob]

Thanks to this thread I now have a list of gimps that know what bumble and friendzone means.

I'm still none the wiser if that helps.

 

[Blue Mist]

I'm still none the wiser if that helps.

Bumble is a social media site where you go on to ask for things like TV's, holidays etc. If you find someone daft enough to but one for you just give them a kiss and the deal is done. Friendzone is no good for you, for a start you have to have some to be on that site.

Here to help happy to help as they say.

 

[Deleted member 77198]

Have you ever considered buying the woman in your life a 65’ Smart TV?

Nope, never!

I’ve only ever given one girl flowers. I’ve never even bothered with Valentines Day as I just believe it is a cash-in day for card shops and refuse to join in with the sheep who do.

 

[BertTrautmann'sParachute]

Has she turned out to be gay yet?

 

[somapop]

Nope!

I’ve had long stretches of time being single. I always find I’m more comfortable, more confident, more chilled out and happier when I’m single. I spend more time on myself, doing/watching/listening to things I want to. Don’t have to spend Sunday afternoons with people I don’t want to. Come and go as I please with nobody to think about or have to tell what I’m doing and when I’ll be in, or worse how I spend my money and how much I drink.

Relationships seem to drag me down, make me feel trapped, but also I lose confidence in myself and feel miserable. And sometimes you don’t realise that until the relationship ends. It’s liberating when it dawns on you that the relationship you’ve just come out of was making you miserable and was the cause of all the ills in your life. Now is when you can work on that and be happy!

And not having to be forced to like her mates and family who you often have to spend time with when you don’t want to, gives you a freedom to spend some time on your own. Time spent on your own is the best time a person can have. Just go somewhere nice and sit there on your own, thinking. It’s a form of meditation and is good for you.

My problem is that I don’t think like “normal” people. It’s like the population is brainwashed and conditioned to thinking and being a certain way. The expectations of society. So I don’t fit in with most girls’ ideals of normal life.

“Well that’s what normal people do in a normal relationship!”

As soon as I hear those words, I know it’s over! Haha

Amazing really. 20 months in from the split which left me in absolute, rock bottom tatters (bit of a breakdown) following a 20 odd year relationship with three children (9, 14, 20).
And then today, I'm far, far happier than I was before the split: confidence never been stronger (historically I've always been very low on that), fitter and stronger than I've even been (running and gym addiction has helped here...dash of yoga...). In fact, I had my body tested recently on one of those body composition monitors that fires electrodes through your body: now have the metabolic rate of a 3 year old (I'm 46) and the BMR, visceral fat etc that of a top athlete...but I suspect that's because I've become a little bit addicted to the gym. I'm definitely getting a whole load of highs of late. I also get the opportunity to listen to new music that I never would at home (distractions, time) and it's a great social venue too.
Our middle daughter is autistic and has been pretty demanding over the past few years so that never helped, and we just weren't meant to live together (she's happy in a pig sty...I'm apparently 'OCD' for cleaning up after myself...).
But agree - it's a society thing isn't it? I'm sure there's a fair few who are married/together but simply cannot live under the same roof...wired differently. Good few of my mates are and a split would probably (longer term) do them the world of good too, but what I went through was like asking somebody to crash their car into a wall at speed and then advising they'd come out of much better in the long run.

Me and my middle daughter (14) went to Cornwall earlier in the year...I thought it would be emotional without the rest of the family (something we've done for 20 years) but actually, that freedom, singularity made it the best holiday I've been on for a long time. We got on really well and made a lot of friends along the way. Something I never did in a relationship...I'd be become entrenched, low level depression and zilch confidence...perhaps we both did.
She's now with another guy (18 months I think) and I wish her all the best...sometimes we argue still, others we get on like brother and sister (relationship was always like that to be fair).

Hence why I questioned whether or not it felt unusual not to be chasing up another relationship: I did last year and some nice adventures, but it became clear I still wasn't entirely happy in the my own skin and still had (have) work to do. In fact, one of my dates picked up on that and told me quite honestly. She was the beauty by the way...a nice soul too.
Liberating is the key word...I'm so open to other people now it's like this super power I never had but always wished I had (and envied people who were naturally that way).

...but of course, I'm a hairy bastard at heart so testosterone is firing through my veins and I miss the sex somewhat, but not in any a desperation to find someone just yet, if not for some time...christ, what if I'm single for the rest of my days? #monkslife

Thanks for the replys...really helped.

 

[roy.or.r]

Move on mate, move on!

There are SO MANY decent girls out there. Never get bogged down with one of its not going well, they put you on the friend list, or they’re being out of order or they’re acting strange.

There’s always a reason why they do this and it’s usually they don’t want to be with you.

Thanks for the reply mate. You are right. It's been a bit hard for me but rewinding back the last few weeks, I have realized that the only thing she used to talk to me about was TV, buying wine and BMWs.

 

[Norman Stanley Fletcher]

I don't think so. I have seen her take a host of medications. I have also looked her up on google and found out she was telling the truth about her DUI offences ( I saw her mugshot).

Now, there's a quaint old euphamism I haven't heard in a while ....