I hate people who call me up about my recent car accident. The last one I went along with it.
Her. Calling about your recent accident.
Me: that was quick love, it just happened yesterday. How did you find out?
Her: we get sent reports.
Me: oh that’s great. Will it matter that I was on my phone when I careered into that bus stop? I mean, how much could I be looking at? The cars a right off. I never hit anybody but one got taken to hospital with a feared heart attack. She was ancient right enough, could have happened at any time
Her: hangs up.