The "let's talk" thread

[SWP's back]

Nice post mate, and certainly not inconsequential. Everyone’s battles are different, and no less valid than others.

Your post particularly resonated with me though, as my Dad is in the mid to later stages of Alzheimer’s and seeing the impact it’s had on both parents really takes its toll. Seeing the person you always looked up to deteriorate into a shell of man before your eyes, and knowing that you will never hold any kind of meaningful conversation ever again, is tough. I know I should just be grateful that he’s still around, but as anyone who’s experienced it will vouch, Alzheimer’s is a pretty cruel disease.

In the same time my partner has fairly suddenly, unexpectedly lost both of her parents and been diagnosed with epilepsy which has also been difficult to come to terms with. Her situation is obviously far worse than mine, but has had a big impact on both of us. Having to put on a brave face for her and the kids isn’t always easy. Probably explains to some extent why I’m tetchier than usual on here, so apologies for that. Sometimes the additional stress of running this place gets to me, but that’s no excuse. I need to remind myself that it doesn’t really matter in the scheme of things.

Think I know deep down that I’m perhaps drinking more than I should, and exercising less than I’d like, and that it’s having an impact on my mental wellbeing. The episodes of anxiety and depression are getting more frequent, yet I’m strangely reticent to visit my GP to discuss it. I think I fear being put on anti-depressants, as it feels that they would just mask the underlying issues and, pathetically, it’s a conversation I even feel awkward about having with my doctor. Odd, given that I’ve just opened up more to a bunch of relative strangers on the internet more than I ever have to anyone close to me. Guess that’s the effect of a couple of glasses of Rioja. Oh well. I’ll no doubt wake with a crippling sense of anxiety at about 3am and delete this post anyway.

Cheers for the reply and a few things mate;

Please don’t delete your post. I know exactly where you’re coming from regarding anxiety after posting. I opened Bluemoon this morning with a sense of dread, but reading the replies and pm’s has been incredibly cathartic.

Second, I’m so sorry to hear about your father. I do have experience of Alzheimer's after my grandfather had to move in with my family where I was in my late teens. It’s a terrible illness and you have my heartfelt sympathy.

On the drinking, depression, anxiety and exercise point, I feel I can can actually give what may be classed as relatively useful advice. Up until April of this year, and for the previous 12-18 months or so, the stress of work and my own Dad had led to a situation where I was drinking one or two bottles of wine a night and hadn’t really bothered with exercise during that time. I went on holiday with the wife and she took some pictures when I was by the pool which horrified me. So I binned off the booze (I now have a glass or two of wine as and when I decide I want to, but kept off anything for a few months) and started going to the gym religiously (an hour a day is still only 4% of your day so we can find the time if we try).

Honestly Ric, it’s the best thing you can do. Exercise is the best anti-depressant on the market. Even on the days when I really don’t feel it, I’m always glad I’ve been once I finish and have the post exercise endorphins. Combined with cutting out (or down) on the booze has had a huge effect, both a physically empirical (dropped 13kg and back in the shape I was 10 years ago) but also mentally I’m in much better shape. I don’t think I’ve argued with my wife for six months, I don’t dread Monday mornings going to work, my IBS has all but buggered off and my stress levels rarely get the better of me.

I know it sounds a bit woo and no one likes the evangelical gym goer but I honestly believe that exercise the key to getting out of the booze/anxiety/depression/more booze cycle. The Bluemoon fitness thread is a superb resource also.

Take care

 

[squirtyflower]

Yeah, Allopurinol for the gout, Ramipril and Amlodipine for blood pressure.

Have they given you something for when you have an attack,
The pain can be excruciating and they use something like Naproxen to reduce the swelling.

 

[117 M34]

A year ago to the day yesterday, an incident at work occurred which began 5 months of hell for me that would go on to change my life forever.

The following 5 months was the hardest period of my life. I was probably depressed and my wife kept telling me to go the doctors for help but I wouldn't go. I put on loads of weight and stopped exercising. My outlook on life deteriorated.

I was supported with the work issue by a member on here which I will always be very grateful for.

The incident eventually led to a change of career to one with less kudos, less pay and less stability (which may lead to a another post on this thread in a few weeks)

Fast forward a year and I am much happier in my job than I have been for a few years. I've realised that i am better off out of the old career and looking from the outside can see lots that was wrong with it. I've learnt lots of new skills, increased confidence, developed new friendships at work and slowly started to get back to exercising. I now enjoy going to work which being honest I hadn't done for years previously.

So my message is that when things are going wrong and you feel shit; it will get better. Keep fighting through it and stay strong.

 

[sir baconface]

This seems rather insubstantial compared with some of the things I’ve read but my Dad’s very unwell and isn’t going to get any better. It’s been coming for a while and I really don’t know how I’m gonna cope when the day comes.

As most know I live a fair distance away but we’ve spoken on FaceTime most days for the last seven years (so I have more contact now than I had when I lived in Manchester). He’s still the first person I want to call after a good deal at work and the only nightmare I ever have, rather than monsters or being attacked is him passing and telling me he’s scared and me not being able to do anything.

It’s a **** of a disease and it’s destroyed this 6’ 3” big, hard, sharp, clever, loving bastard that’s spent the last 38 years being the rock I anchor my world against. I’m equally petrified and so very sad. I don’t let on to my Mrs, I don’t cry when I’m on the blower to him, even when he does (I save that for after we hang up) but I just don’t know what I’m going to do on that day.

You sound close and I’m sure you have already done this. If not, though, make sure you tell him how much you love and respect him, and what a rock he’s been. Those are the best words any father could hear.

It was something I always regretted with my own dad. He went suddenly and there was no preparation. Besides, it just wasn’t the sort of thing we would do.

 

[sir baconface]

Ok, thanks Bill, I’ll throw one into the ether!

Has anyone had a stent op who wishes they hadn’t ? I know the arguments for having a stent but would like to hear the real life experiences of anyone who regrets doing so.

Thanks
CTID

I had a stent put in but no regrets. Why do you ask, mate? Are you thinking about having it done but are worried?

 

[Blue Elvis]

I had a stent put in but no regrets. Why do you ask, mate? Are you thinking about having it done but are worried?

Thanks for replying.
For me it’s a quality of life v quantity of life dilemma. To have a stent and take the recommended medication would mean giving up the things that make my life worthwhile.Had serious problems with side effects in the past.

At the moment the pain and breathlessness is still manageable so I can continue to do what I want/need to do.

Seeing cardiologist next week and just wanted to know pros and cons before I agree to anything. Thanks again.

CTID

 

[yozzerblue]

PM sent.

Currently on biologics and have been for a couple of years. After just the third injection I was almost clear, thats from being covered from head to foot. Hope they work as well for you. If I can help just pm me. If you dont mind me asking, which tablet did the doc give you to make you go eurethrodermic. Take care blue.

 

[Millwallawayveteran1988]

You sound close and I’m sure you have already done this. If not, though, make sure you tell him how much you love and respect him, and what a rock he’s been. Those are the best words any father could hear.

It was something I always regretted with my own dad. He went suddenly and there was no preparation. Besides, it just wasn’t the sort of thing we would do.

Me too. Mine died suddenly at 61. It was his anniversary this week. 12 years gone in a flash. I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye or tell him anything. I was at City less than a week later with an empty chair next to me. It was heartbreaking.

As I get older and wiser I think about a lot of things and had I had my time again I would have done a lot of things differently.

Anxiety and depression are never far from me so anyone suffering from that, I know how that feels. Winter is a killer 4 months for me. I almost become a hermit other than work.

 

[sir baconface]

Thanks for replying.
For me it’s a quality of life v quantity of life dilemma. To have a stent and take the recommended medication would mean giving up the things that make my life worthwhile.Had serious problems with side effects in the past.

At the moment the pain and breathlessness is still manageable so I can continue to do what I want/need to do.

Seeing cardiologist next week and just wanted to know pros and cons before I agree to anything. Thanks again.

CTID

You’re welcome, Elvis.

I had to take clopidogrel for a year after the op, which was 11 or 12 years ago now. I was already on a beta-blocker for high blood pressure. The current one is called ramipril. The other meds prescribed on a permanent basis were aspirin for blood thinning and simvastatin for cholesterol. None have given noticeable side effects (other than low toleration of dippers!). Obviously you’ve had a different experience but I believe some meds have alternatives if you do suffer side effects. Your doctor will advise.

I’m not a medic and don’t know what you’ve been prescribed. Therefore I don’t understand what activities you might have to give up. It was none in my case. I guess you’ll just to have to balance that against (hopefully) improved long term prospects. I’m confident my stent has helped me. Well, I’m still here!

The op itself sounds slightly daunting because you are fully conscious and watch the proceedings. In fact it just involved mild discomfort for a short period so it’s nothing to get too worried about.

Please PM me if you want to ask anything. If I don’t hear from you, good luck :)

 

[dennishasdoneit]

Currently on biologics and have been for a couple of years. After just the third injection I was almost clear, thats from being covered from head to foot. Hope they work as well for you. If I can help just pm me. If you dont mind me asking, which tablet did the doc give you to make you go eurethrodermic. Take care blue.

Think you ve sent this to wrong poster Blue...?