Poetry Corner

Hire Car by the Salford Bard

Double park – don’t lock the door
Push the pedals through the floor
Give it loads and then some more
It’s a hire car baby

Grip the stick – grind the gears
Watch that distance disappear
Never yours in a thousand years
It’s a hire car baby

Hire-car, hire-car
Why would anybody buy a car?
Bang it, prang it, say ta ta
It’s a hire car baby

Bad behaviour on the street
Save yourself a couple of sheets
Collision rate keeps it sweet
It’s a hire car baby

Show this motor no respect
Bump it, dump it, call collect
What else do the firm expect
It’s a hire car baby

Drive the fucker anywhere
Just like you don’t care
Put it down to wear and tear
It’s a hire car baby

Pray the person who hired it last
Didn’t drive it quite so fast
This dakarum dodgem doesn’t last
It’s a hire car baby

Try not to kill yourself
Or injure anybody else
Don’t forget to fasten your belts

Rent it, dent it, bang it, prang it
Bump it, dump it, scorch it, torch it
Crash and burn it, don’t return it
Lost deposit, let ’em earn it
Who cares, it’s on the firm
It’s a hire car baby
 
Ah, now I know where your user name comes from!

vRM4KLy.jpg


A literary genius.
 
Leave the personal abuse of of here, thanks. We don't need people thinking that BM is "going down the drain".

If this is aimed at me for using a phrase meant in jest - the same phrase previously used countless times by numerous posters on this forum, then all I can do is offer my sincerest apologies if this was taken as an indiscriminate and personal attack on another poster, rather than a poor attempt at whimsy on my part.
 
If this is aimed at me for using a phrase meant in jest - the same phrase previously used countless times by numerous posters on this forum, then all I can do is offer my sincerest apologies if this was taken as an indiscriminate and personal attack on another poster, rather than a poor attempt at whimsy on my part.
It's aimed at everybody, that is why I didn't quote you or anyone else. It applies to all forums/threads on here.
 
It's aimed at everybody, that is why I didn't quote you or anyone else. It applies to all forums/threads on here.
Still, if it was my initial 'fucking pervert' quip that triggered you to respond because it was considered 'personal abuse', then all I can say is that I have drastically misread Bluemoon these last 10 years or so.
 
https://acton28.blog/2020/12/04/gotit/


Got it?
Oh, but what do you mean?
This. Got it?
It isn’t so clear. Send it again.
There you go.

Got it, this time?
Okay, I think.
That’s the attitude.
It really isn’t right.
There. Look again.

Got it.
Oh, the words are too small.
Take your time.
It isn’t about time. It’s really about quality.
Try once more.

Great.
Obviously a mistake.
That’s right.
It really won’t do.
Terrific.

Good to hear.
Oh, it sure is.
Try one more time?
Is it really necessary?
This is the last time.

GOT IT.
Only one more change…
That’s what you said time.
Incredible efforts.
Thank you kindly. Got it.
 
Financially, mentally, substantially. In a pickle. Unquestionably undoubtedly, profoundly. In a pickle. Historically, periodically, profoundly. In a pickle. Oddly, secretly, openly. In a pickle. To the letter, by the books, across the board. In a pickle. No trust fund, no benefactor, no obligation. In a pickle. Without reserve, without doubt, without care. In a pickle.
 

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