Nebuchadnezzar
Well-Known Member
Every year on New Year’s Eve my mum rings me and says “I hope this new year finally brings you a bit of happiness and luck”.
I’m 49, twice divorced and currently trying to hold my third marriage together but it’s like sand running through my fingers.
I work for the NHS as a band 2 support worker and my wife and I just can’t seem to earn enough to get by. We moved into our first bought (instead of rented) home this time last year and it’s turned into a bloody money pit! The boiler died in October and a new one was not something we could afford so had to get a loan, then we found we had a leak in the pipe work which cost us another small fortune to find and repair and involved ripping up the laminate floor. The bill for that work I just can’t pay!
To add to that my dad is in and out of hospital (10 times so far this year) and is currently in Preston hospital after yet another operation and he’s looking like this might be one operation too many - he’s very weak and frail from Parkinson’s. His BP is constantly low and he’s at risk of a stroke or heart attack. He and my mum are so skint that I’ve just had to sell his mobility scooter for them to raise some cash!
I’ve had depression and anxiety for years and have only recently got out of a huge trough that nearly killed me but I can feel myself slowly heading that way again. We can’t pay the mortgage this month, plus add the loan for the boiler, plumber fees and Xmas and it makes me want to cry.
I’m trying to keep my mum positive and tell her dad will be ok, he’ll be home for Xmas etc but I’m struggling to believe it. And if he does get home he’s going to be immobile.
I can’t feel positive about anything right now. I don’t even look at City scores!!!
I turn 50 next May and my life looks like a fucking disaster. It’s so easy to do the “woe is me” bit at times like this and I try really hard not to but I’m finding it harder every day to hold myself together and try to be strong.
My ex wife left me 10 years ago for a wealthy man and she told me I earned crap money and would never give her the life she wanted. Years later and I can’t even take my wife out or buy her something for Xmas, and holidays are things other people do...
I look at my life now, how miserable my wife is and can’t help thinking it could happen again. Everything just seems to be going fucking wrong. I’m picking up bank shifts on my days off when I can but but it’s just not enough.
Not sure where I’m really going with all this, but after today I just needed to say it.
We're glad you shared it.
That's a whole lot going on. No disrespect but the ex Mrs doesn't sound like the nicest person. You're doing your best for those around you mate.