Rude/pervy Xmas song lyrics

[Mazzarelli's Swiss Cheese]

Just to relieve a bit of Derby- day tension, I thought it would be nice to consider the euphemisms within our favourite festive songs. Whether it be references to 'come' in traditional carols, 'bells' or noncey lyrics about children there are many examples for the curious (and slightly perverted) mind to consider. I'll kick us off with the following :-

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need, and I
Don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day

....Wrong on so many levels.

 

[Innsbruckblue]

Check out Clarence Carter with ‘Back Door Santa’

 

[born2bblu]

There you go:

 

[Metal Biker]

 

[Mazzarelli's Swiss Cheese]

There you go:

Omfg! 1953- too late to call the police/social services?

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Didn't the Darkness manage to get bell end and ring piece (peace) into their lyrics

 

[LWashington]

 

[Mayor West]

Omfg! 1953- too late to call the police/social services?

Think I'm missing the joke on that one?

 

[roman totale]

^ Same here. Other than the fact that the kid in 1953 looks way older than the purported 10, I’m not seeing the problem...?!

 

[Mazzarelli's Swiss Cheese]

Think I'm missing the joke on that one?

^ Same here. Other than the fact that the kid in 1953 looks way older than the purported 10, I’m not seeing the problem...?!

No joke gents. Hippos not allowed as pets under the dangerous animals act:-
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2007/2465/schedule/made

Although the legislation is from 23 years after the song Tbf.