Joke thread

[CrazyBlues]

2,350 posts on this thread and I haven’t laughed once. You bunch of useless twats.

A Superstar without a humour.

 

[Sid C]

As a kid I remember lying in bed waiting for Santa to come.

Then there was always that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.

 

[Fred_Quimby]

True
A 4 year olds logic.
Grandpa (me); “Joshua (grandson: 4) would you like to write some tags for your cousin‘s Theo’s Christmas presents?”
Joshua; “Yes please Grandpa”
Me “OK, here’s the tags, now all you have to write is ‘to Theo’”
Joshue; “But that’s not right Granpa”
Me (puzzled); “ Why? What’s wrong with that Joshua?”
Joshua; “Well, there’s only one of him”

 

[117 M34]

How does jesus make his tea?

Hebrews it

 

[Uwe Already]

Why did the chicken go to a seance?

To get to the other side...

 

[Blue Mist]

Why did the chicken go to a seance?

To get to the other side...

Please tell me you got that out of a cracker.

 

[Indaparkside]

A man walks in the doctors with jelly in one ear and custard in the other’ how can I help you said the doctor, you’ll have to speak up said the man I’m a trifle death

 

[Indaparkside]

What happened to the snail who lost his shell

He became very sluggish

 

[Blue Mist]

I don't like turkey so today me and a mate went for a curry.
I said that I was going to have Chicken Tarka.
Don't you mean Chicken Tikka he replied...…
No, I said, it's like Chicken Tikka but its just a little otter.

 

[Blue Mist]

A man walks in the doctors with jelly in one ear and custard in the other’ how can I help you said the doctor, you’ll have to speak up said the man I’m a trifle death

I went to the doctor when I felt ill, he told me to go to the window and pull my tongue out, I said will that make me feel better, He said No I don't like the man across the road.


Well you started the shit jokes.