Life

I am 60 this year how the hell did that happen !! like many on here I have always done a manual job , my mind most of the time is young but my body has had enough but I cant really change jobs at my age as I need to earn a certain amount to live. Life was great for me until I turned 50 and from on its been mostly shit. In 2010 I had a really bad 6 weeks I still don't think I have come to terms with what happen. I was at work when my dad phoned and told me to come to the hospital asap mum wasn't well, by the evening she had gone. On the day of the funeral my dad was diagnosed with cancer, than a week later I was made redundant after 22yrs at the same company. None of this I saw coming. My dad (married 52yrs) went into a very dark place which was hard to deal with plus me trying to find work, it was hard. We sort of got through that than my marriage fell part, and to coin a phrase I lost the lot, ex got the house I got my pension. I have been changing jobs about every two years now which I don't like , just want to find a job that's suits till I pack up before my body does. Than dad passed away suddenly in 2017 didn't get to see our 100 points season out. I still use to text him after every game until is number went dead.
Last year I married a truly wonderful lady who is so kind and loving (something I am not use to) and lets me be me.
Thing is since I have met and married this wonderful lady my brain seems to have gone into depression I am of work for the next 5 weeks with depression, people say its probably coming out now because I am in a strong loving relationship and I can 'relax' so every thing that I have put at the back of my mind is coming out now. I still miss my mum and dad like crazy, still cry a lot when thinking about them. Perhaps I am now grieving as I haven't had time before , but I don't feel as happy with life as I use to , but I am sure I will given time. I don't like the idea of paying over £800 plus rent for the rest of my life , I worry where we will live when I have to pack up work. Will my kids every afford a home ?.
Life is great and I feel better for writing this, once I have this out of my system , I will start pushing on and enjoying each day. The people where I work have been great and have said I will be supported for as long as I need it and will pay for my counselling, I just need to start seeing the good in life and not the fact that 'everyone' else seems to have a 50 grand plus car with pvt plates and a posh house, with lots of posh holidays , like my missus keeps saying 'Gordan its probably all on credit cards, and we don't owe anyone anything.
Life is wonderful but sometimes we just need to take a step back as it can be bloody hard at times as well. If it hadn't been for my dad when I go divorced I could have ended up on the streets as I have no friends, he put me up and bought me a static caravan to live in without dad where would I have ended up ?
Thankfully I am now happily married and she encourages me to spend lots of father and sons time with my lads by coming up to City, she is fantastic. I just text her and say my son has got tickets for Saturday is that ok?...yea its fine …..how lucky am I ? Very..

I sympathise with your position, Gordon, and no offence, but I have to wonder as throughout reading your whole story, I don't get the sense you know yourself very well.

I'm probably way wrong, but happiness seems to come through others. There are times where I don't like myself, but I understand who I am and I how I work and that dislike gets re-absorbed back into me.

Quite honestly for me, "know thyself" is one of the most underrated statements on mental strength.
 
I'm only 28 so a young blood compared to a lot of the oldies on here. I felt at 25 that I was too old to start certain hobbies and had fallen into the trap of thinking my life was going to be 'work til retirement age then slowly fade away til death'. I think a lot of youngsters fresh out of school/uni think this. I was feeling somewhat down and uninspired so I decided to change things.

I had always wanted to rock climb but was afraid of heights. So I signed up at the local climbing gym and haven't looked back. I quit social media. I wake up at 5am every morning and go to the gym because I've always been a skinny guy with little muscle and strength. I eat as healthy as possible (pizza is still my weakness), I started doing yoga and jiu jitsu. I have started learning Korean as well (just because). I'm fortunate enough to have enough money to travel so I've hiked to Everest Base Camp, hiked through Milford Sound (beautiful!), traveled and hiked all along the west coast of America. I'm doing a beginner alpinism course in NZ in a few months. All this of this in 3-4 years and I've never felt more positive and keen to take on life. I'll never be the best at any of the activities I've started doing, but I'd rather be average at them than to have never tried them at all. Of course there have still been down times too, but having the goods times to balance those out are important.

I look at some of the people around me who are depressed, lazy, uninspired. Some people are down on their luck and get the raw end of the deal in aspects of their lives, but I think a lot of people are in a bad way mentally because they don't follow their passions due to fear of failure and because the biggest stopper in the way of their dreams/aspirations is the little voice inside your head telling you that it can't be done. While I'm in a good place mentally, financially and health wise, I'm doing all I can to make the most of it; I know things can change in an instant. Perhaps there is someone reading this who has always thought about doing something but never gone ahead with it....just do it!


Great post that!
 
I had a neighbour who was 103, she lived alone at home, got about a little bit and managed to look after herself pretty well. She died and was buried just a few weeks ago.
Today a skip was delivered to her house.
 
Live by the Mantra "you only regret the things you don't do" and you'll go a long way to enjoying it.

So many people I know find small/petty reasons not to do things they clearly want to do.

this is something I see on rare return trips to the UK. The conversations go something like this....wow, I love your house right on the beach, it must be great living in such a beautiful place.
after a bit more talk about the weather and cost of living lack of crime etc
I would love to do what you do
well then why dont you there is an airport up the road
then the excuses start as they talk themselves out of even considering a change in life
 
@idahoblues just checking in to make sure all is well, mate. Hope you are staying warm and managing to keep your head above the snow.
 

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