Joke thread

[EastStandLower]

Does anyone need an Ark? I Noah guy.

 

[Big Swifty]

With the right punctuation that had a distinct possibility of being funny

A remote possibility, if that.....

 

[Big Swifty]

A rather plain old woman sits down on a bus seat and notices that the man next to her has his fly unzipped and is revealing everything.

She says "Excuse me, your fly is open and your cock is sticking out"

He replies "Don't flatter yourself, missus - it's hanging out".

 

[sir baconface]

Does anyone need an Ark? I Noah guy.

Give me his name and I’ll contact him.

 

[yeseye]

With the right punctuation that had a distinct possibility of being funny

.

 

[DazWA9]

This stupid panic buying is getting ridiculous.
I've just paid £15 for Oxo cubes... The stock market has gone crazy!!

 

[Paulpowersleftfoot]

It’s Phillip Schofield I feel sorry for
He’s only just come out
Now he’s got to stay in

 

[Zuriblue]

Every time I hear Covid-19 I expect it to be followed by Manchester United 0.

 

[Buckley Mug]

I remember when l used to cough to try to disguise a fart now l fart to disguise a cough

 

[dronefromsector7G]

News just in that an ISIS suicide bomber has killed himself and 25 family members after deciding to work from home.