Fred_Quimby
Well-Known Member
“My husband purchased a world map - gave me a dart and said “throw this and wherever it lands I’m taking you on holiday when this pandemic is over”. Turns out we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge”
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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
PannickAtTheDisco
Well-Known Member
In the words of the song: Fuck VAR, Fuck VAR, Fuck VAR.
Anyway, the umlaut isn't over the "o" in Borussia.
But I'm building up tö yet anöther blöödy day wörking fröm höme sö here is a cöllectiön of umlauts.
Borussia Verein für Leibesübungen 1900 e.V. Mönchengladbach
Indaparkside
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 28 Dec 2015
- Messages
- 14,563
I asked a Chinese girl for her number she said sex sex sex free sex tonight.
I got a right hard on until her friend said she meant 6663629
I got a right hard on until her friend said she meant 6663629
Paulpowersleftfoot
Well-Known Member
Two guys waiting together in the queue at B&Q
The guy in front of them has 15 litres of exterior masonry house paint and a 2 inch brush.
One guy turns to the other and says incredulously "15 litres of exterior masonry paint and a two inch brush??
That's gonna take that contagious".
The guy in front of them has 15 litres of exterior masonry house paint and a 2 inch brush.
One guy turns to the other and says incredulously "15 litres of exterior masonry paint and a two inch brush??
That's gonna take that contagious".
bluemoon32
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 2 Jan 2009
- Messages
- 22,950
- Team supported
- City
My cat just asked me if I want the radio leaving on while he goes out.
Fucking prick.
Fucking prick.
Fiftyyearsandcounting
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 25 Oct 2009
- Messages
- 1,920
Two fly on the top of a packet of cornflakes. Suddenly, one of the flies sprints to the other side.2 flys on a piece of shit one farts the other says do you mind I’m eating my lunch
The stationary fly asks "Why did you do that?"
"Because the sign said - Tear Along Here"
Indaparkside
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 28 Dec 2015
- Messages
- 14,563
Two fly on the top of a packet of cornflakes. Suddenly, one of the flies sprints to the other side.
The stationary fly asks "Why did you do that?"
"Because the sign said - Tear Along Here"
Fly on a pile of shite all of a sudden he here’s buzzzzz splosh fucking hell jim said the fly not seen you for a while, no Ben he replied I’ve been on the sick
Tuearts right boot
Well-Known Member
When are we all back at work...?????
M
M
mat
Guest
Holly Willoughby, Philip schofield and Gino de campo were walking over a bridge.
Holly trips and gets her head stuck between the railings.
Without a sideways glance, Gino pulls aside her G-String and fucks her senseless.
He stands back and tells Phillip "your turn"!
Phillip burst out into tears. "Whats wrong? Asks Gino.
Phillip sobs, "My head won't fit in the railings."
Holly trips and gets her head stuck between the railings.
Without a sideways glance, Gino pulls aside her G-String and fucks her senseless.
He stands back and tells Phillip "your turn"!
Phillip burst out into tears. "Whats wrong? Asks Gino.
Phillip sobs, "My head won't fit in the railings."
nmc
Well-Known Member
Holly Willoughby, Philip schofield and Gino de campo were walking over a bridge.
Holly trips and gets her head stuck between the railings.
Without a sideways glance, Gino pulls aside her G-String and fucks her senseless.
He stands back and tells Phillip "your turn"!
Phillip burst out into tears. "Whats wrong? Asks Gino.
Phillip sobs, "My head won't fit in the railings."
Gino would have ‘half inched’ her handbag and fucked off.